The Best Guests Come Bearing Gifts: Whipahol, The Next Four Loko

by Mara Siegler · November 29, 2010

    Now that Four Loko has been removed from the shelves the alcohol industry has come up with a new ingenious way for you to kill yourself with booze. Introducing Whipahol, other wise known as whipped cream designed to get you shitfaced. Tasty!

    Whipped Lightning ranges from 16% to 18% alcohol by volume meaning the whole can equals about three or four beers. While ingesting the entire thing is probably not the correct usage of the product, chances are high it will be done. 1) This is already a big hit at colleges where students always drink responsibly 2) They come in delicious sounding flavors like Amaretto, White Chocolate Raspberry and Cinnamon, to name a few and 3) You can use the empty can for huffing, which is safe and classy. "Whipped cream's not just for kids anymore, it's all about style & sophistication," according to the company's web site.  Enough said.

    Chances the FDA will pull this by the time X-Mas rolls around are about 98%. Get it while you can. Sold at liquor stores for just $9.99 this is the perfect gift to bring to a party where the main focus is getting as hammered as possible. Put it on Jello-Shots, Mudslides, Jack and Cokes, a shot of Jameson, whatever you want for a double dose of poison. Body shots done with creamy dollops are definitely a must as is some sexxxy time post-party.

    A few words of warning: Be careful seeing as you have no way to know just how much alcohol you've ingested when spraying it from the can into your mouth or on other products. Do not leave unattended in your fridge, especially if your roommate is in AA, seeing as whoever is reaching in for something to splash on their pumpkin pie probably won't read the label and realize it's a night cap in disguise. Ladies, beware the guy you just started dating who all of a sudden wants to ply you with hot chocolate and other forms of dessert needing a sweet topping. And finally, in all seriousness, just don't buy this stuff.