All The Men In NYC Who Will Disappoint You

Joining a fitness cult community is the best way to make yourself feel less alone in this city of 8.5 million degenerates New Yorkers. And with that comes the inspirational, enthusiastic fitness instructor with model good looks that you and your friends flock to regularly. And why wouldn't you? He gives a good workout. He picks a bumpin' playlist. He's got this infectious motivational energy, and did we mention he's hot? And he probably does cool shit in his spare time too, like model for Lululemon, lead exotic fitness retreats, or stay in the same house as Victoria's Secret Angels at Coachella.

But then you find out that he ripped his motivational mini speeches from TED Talks and quotes on Facebook. And he probably ripped off his "meaningful" tattoos from white girl pages on Pinterest. He also probably has Botox and calf implants and is a dick to women in real life. Oh, and he takes shirtless mirror selfies at the age of 40. So you realize that maybe flocking to a female fitness instructor may be a better idea, and lesbianism may be a better option as well.