The Academic
New York is full of the biggest f*cking idiots, but it's also the intellectual capital of the Western Hemisphere. (And no, Harvard, you totally aren't the intellectual capital because most of your students were a part of Operation Varsity Blues or they faked being Native American to get in with a 3.0 GPA.) Why do you think all of us are miserable? Not just because of the terrible living conditions, but because studies show that the smartest people are, like, the most depressed people. Sad!
Anyway, statistically speaking, you'll inevitably find yourself dating an academic. Maybe he's in grad school, like med or law school, or maybe he's a professor! Intelligence is always an attractive trait in a guy, right?
Yeah. It is. Until the guy realizes you're almost as intelligent as him. Or as intelligent. Or more intelligent. And have opinions that conflict with his.
Sure, he will have endless conversations with you about Nietzsche, Polanyi, and Freud until you run out of things to say because you don't remember that much from the SparkNotes you pored over while studying for your meaningless Liberal Arts degree. And he'll probably run out of ways to sound mature because he never burst through that academic bubble and got a taste of the real world. Eventually he'll take cheap shots at you for loving the Kardashians or being into Instagram in order to puff up his chest and come off as the smarter one. Abstaining from low brow pop culture and social media doesn't make you any more intelligent, dude. It just makes you less fun to talk to at parties.
[Photo via @hotguysreadingNYC]
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