All The Men In NYC Who Will Disappoint You

I remember my first terrible celebrity interaction: I was living at The Jane, and T.J. Miller was staying there as well with his wife who has a POETRY BLOG. (I mean.)

I had one drink too many because, duh, I was charging it to my room, and that was on my parents' tab. I asked him why he looked so familiar, and he made fun of me because he thought I was a drunk asshole hitting on him when really, I was just tipsy and wondering why he looked so familiar. Then, months later, T.J. Miller got really drunk and punched his Uber driver in the face. Two years later, he got really drunk and called in a fake bomb threat on a train. IDK, I feel like those are more of drunk asshole moves than me having one drink too many and asking who he was. But this experience just goes to show that karma is a bigger bitch than me, and that life's fuckin' poetry, man.

Anyway, being a celebrity isn't that hard to achieve these days. All you need is a social media following (whether it's fake or real), a blue checkmark, and cringe-inducing shamelessness to be considered D-List. No, seriously, you could literally live in your parents' basement and be a celebrity solely because you live-stream playing video games. With that being said, their cockiness about their bullshit fame will probably render them insufferable once you're face to face.

New York is littered with celebrities, and 90% of the time, they are completely underwhelming at best. Maybe, much like T.J. Miller, they are drunk assholes in person. Maybe, much like a certain Bachelor star that I will not name because I am a classy bitch, they will get pissed when you ask them about the time they were in a Juicy J music video. Or worst of all, maybe the celebrity crush you've had since you were 12 is - gulp - 5'9. Looking at you, Paul Rudd. Or looking down on you, because I am 6'0. 

[Photo via @paulruddig]