The "Actor"
Do you want to piss off your parents? Date a struggling actor, but I guarantee you it won't be fun. A lot of them are good-looking, but that's probably because they use more hair and makeup products than you do. Acting is also literally being a professional liar, so it'll come really easy for them to lie about anything from their age to who they're actually texting. And what's worse is that they make it seem like acting is the most difficult, most meaningful thing on the planet. It's not. It's reading someone else's words in an affected tone and being bossed around by a director. They're literally puppets who only got hired because they looked the part.
And that's IF they get hired, which is rare. You will have to deal with a toxic hybrid of over-inflated ego and crippling self-loathing. You will have to grin and bear it when they make you come to a speakeasy to watch them perform "a one man show." You will have to try not to vomit when they force you to listen to their rap comedy album about musical theater that they made.
What's more embarrassing than being this guy? Being the girl who dates him even though he's the worst sex on the planet and is cheating on you with some "dancer" from the community theater. At least his starving artist shtick ensures he will age terribly.
[Photo via @ThisGuyBuysAllOfHisFollowers]
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