"Mandivas" Are Too Cool For Me

Last night, at dinner with my other fabulous women friends at an ultra-hip west village hot spot, we started a discussion on something that has been on my mind for weeks now. Men. Men have always been pretty easy for me to figure out, coming from the Midwest, they were effortless reads. They usually liked sports, hanging out at bars, and grilling out. They wore Polo and Abercrombie. The more interesting ones may have played the guitar and owned the complete collection of Radiohead. If I was interested, I would have a guy figured out in minutes...and have him calling me within hours.

It's not that New York men are more selfish, smart, or stimulating than the average man (though in many cases this may fit the bill), it's that they are so damn stylish and hip. We were all in agreement, an average guy moving to the city will become less "manly" within a year of living here. The fact is, most of the guys that we are mingling with are in finance, the entertainment business (models, actors, singers), or are gay. Not exactly out there doing any MAN-ual labor. At least 50% of them are not American citizens, which means their accents alone are intriguing to me....but you know what? I've reached the point where I am getting sick of it. These are not just your typical "metrosexuals" that I'm refering to. Those guys are oftentimes clueless and unfabulous, but are tidy and use Kiel's body products. No, this is a whole new breed of "Man-Diva's" or "MANDIVAS" as I call them, that are just not letting me shine here.

Gone are the days when I am able to find a guy that is sub-par in his outfit choice, lacking in the number of interesting friends he has, and has a low "in-the-know" rating. Dare I admit this, but I am starting to long for the days of my past, the days when Mr. Me didn't know who was working the door at Beatrice, let alone who Patricia Fields was or what Proenza Schouler was coming out with for their Fall '08 line. He was strong and masculine and thought I was an idiot for spending $300 on a pair of jeans. He had exactly 5 pairs of dress shoes and 3 belts. God he even smelled simple.

I'm not the only one that is longing for the simple, masculine man. On the subway today, I caught Danica Lo's article in the Post titled "How to Pick up a Footballer". Most of the time these simple men I look for end up being athletes, only because their focus on a sport shields them from the Mandiva world of fashion, and hipness. The article had commentary from mega "Mandiva" Mark Birbaum (co-owner of TenJune) who admitted that these manly men are not really in the scene:

"In high school, football players were always the studs, but there seems to be a big disconnect after college - they seem to get married earlier and they're more low-key - and most NFL players aren't in the 'cool' scene anymore."

Mark goes on to give out his tips to the ladies (who he says are "usually girls from the Midwest who move to New York City") that want to land the big footballer type guys in a bar. They included: "Knowing the game, being outgoing but not annoying, and not sleeping with the guy right away." (Um..is this supposed to be new information?)

What is my answer? Well, there isn't one. You live in the epicenter of the world, you're going to have to deal with "too-cool-for-school" type guys. This brings back the scene at a fabulous artsy party held by Ian Schrager I attended on a Monday last spring with a hot girlfriend of mine. Commenting on the lack of eligible men in the room, she bluntly stated: "It's midnight on a Monday, my future husband is in bed right now, not at some hipster party in an unmarked basement with Richie Rich."

Cez't La Vie!