Oh, you swipe matchbooks from restaurants and bars? How impressive. How adorable. For the end all be all of New York klepto collections pinched about town, take a look. Some of these may involve a heist-like level of planning, some just a good lookout and a little slight of hand. Either way, speak softly and carry a big bag.

Disclaimer: Stealing is illegal and this was written satirically. Please don't actually do this. (Sugar packets are ok, though, we're sure.)