When I Say "Black Lives Matter," Don't Ask Me To Explain It To You

BLACK LIVES MATTER. You say you understand that you’ll never understand BUT you stand with me. Say that three times fast! One of my biggest issues that has endlessly kept me up at night and sat with me throughout the day are peers and co-workers saying they love me, are here for me, stand with me... but in reality, their asses are sitting down. I mean, lazy.com. 

Your Instagram post and reposts are not enough and will never be enough. Quite frankly, you failed when you reposted the Black Lives Matter thread you found and then did absolutely nothing after. Or maybe you actually said "All Lives Matter" and need to regain the trust and acceptance of everyone who saw that for it what it was, so you retracted your comment but carry on with life. Your donation to a Black run organization was amazing yes, but your effort to further educate yourself in your free time frightens me. It frightens me because you just messaged me asking what you can do to help right now. This is not a short term movement that will be over when Coronavirus is over. 

This fight has been happening for years, before me and you were even born, and I need you to look that up on your own time. Your silence now says a lot, and don’t use the excuse of “I didn’t know what to post” or  “I’m not on social media like that” or my favorite, “What I want to post or say doesn’t seem genuine enough.” It makes me incredibly sad. It makes me incredibly sad that I grew up in a predominantly white town where unfortunately most of the time, true reality is superseded by oblivion and closed-mindedness. 

But I get it. Some of us grew up without having to be exposed to things until much later in life and no one is saying that is not okay! What is not okay is 1. Not acknowledging the privilege you have had your whole life 2. Not taking any progressive action towards being better, even if you have not necessarily done something bad, do you follow? Black, white, Latino, Asian, alien from Mars - WHATEVER you are, your opinion matters, your voice matters, you matter, of course you do, but please do your research. Please self-educate if you’re curious to learn more, and have a dialogue. Have the uncomfortable dialogue that I have with my white peers whom I love and respect but must hold accountable. No one is saying all lives don’t matter, but this conversation isn't about you right now. 

Stop asking me to tell you how you can help. This is not to say I don’t want to help although I don’t need to and there are Black people who would certainly agree with me. It is exhausting. I cannot put it any other way. In the time it takes the average Jane or John Doe to wash their face and brush their teeth I have already found a list of resources on supporting the Black community, on Black owned beauty brands, literature, what have you. So stop being lazy. If you are ready to start helping me and educating yourself more on the situation - do it!

Life is not okay right now, for a multitude of reasons, but one being that there is death on every corner of law and humanity. Don’t be afraid of what people will say, be afraid of who you truly are if you do nothing at all. There is no script you need to follow to share your words, there are no multiple choice questions or pop quizzes for you to take; just do the right thing... but don't ask me to explain it.

I will, however, leave you with with 10 organizations you can donate to NOW. Notice that these are not hyperlinked as I urge you to do the work, and look these organizations up yourself. It's a start.

1. NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund

2. The ACLU

3. The Loveland Foundation

4. Equal Justice Initiative 

5. Color of Change

6. House of GG

7. Reclaim The Block

8. Black Lives Matter 

9. The Innocence Project

10. Know Your Rights Camp

[Photos by Yumi Matsuo/via Raya O'Neal]