666 Fifth Avenue, And Other Satanic New York Real Estate

by SUSANNAH LONG · April 26, 2010

    In a test of whether the economy is hot or not, two floors at 666 5th Avenue are now on sale for between 600 and 700 million. But let's keep our eye on the prize here: All we really care about is that the address is a devilish 666. Is Satan helping push that price up? Let's look at other Satan-spiced properties to see if they can shed some light on the subject . . .

    The same space at 666 5th Avenue sold for a paltry 525 million in July 08, but now Carlyle and Crown Acquisitions are betting that their success in buying out existing tenants means they can unload the property for much more. At 2,500 bucks per square foot, 666 5th is pricier than spaces in Paris's Champs-Elysees or Tokyo's Ginza district. It makes us wonder about other real estate with devilish connections. Because the market may cool down, but the fires of Hell are always burning.

    The Dakota

    Luciferian Claim to Fame: It was the movie stand-in for The Bramford, the creepy gothic NYC apartment building where the hapless Rosemary was terrorized by her satanic neighbors in Rosemary's Baby.

    Market Price: The building has been a co-op since 1961. Two years ago, a basement storage room there sold for a record-setting $801,000.00, setting a record for storage space sales in Manhattan. More recently, the cost of a one-bedroom in the legendary building was estimated at a minimum price of 5.9 million.

    180 Maiden Lane

    Luciferian Claim to Fame: Apart from being the site of AIG's and Goldman Sachs' various devilish undertakings, the building was also the movie location for Milton, Chadwick and Waters, the Satan-owned law firm in the 1997 movie The Devil's Advocate. Keanu Reeves acted all confused while Al Pacino was all like, "I'm the devil, if the devil was your drunken uncle instead of the Prince of Darkness!" It was great.

    Market Price: The Paramount Group sold the property in 2004 for 355 million. In 2008, AIG agreed to take over the remainder of Goldman Sachs' lease and, despite the pesky little matter of a liquidation crisis, still plans to fully occupy the building by 2011.

    Central Park

    Luciferian Claim to Fame: In Adam Sandler's comedy Little Nicky, the whiny-voiced comedian and son of Satan (in art as in life) battles it out with his evil brother, Adrian, in the famed greenspace. The demon bro almost wins, but then Adam Sandler summons Ozzy Osbourne, who bites off Adrian's head and spits it back into Hell. But you already knew that, because Little Nicky is a cultural touchstone.

    Market Price: Priceless . . . although the land was purchased by the New York State Legislature in 1853 for a hefty 5 million dollars. Cycling teams, hordes of tourists, and PDA-drunk lovers might think the own it, but the 843 acres at the heart of the city are co-managed by the Central Park Conservancy and the NYC Department of Parks and Recreation.

    The NYC Subway

    Luciferian Claim to Fame: Have you ever been in the subway? Though it isn't the Ninth Circle of Hell, it's probably the Fourth. Also, a satanic Gabriel Byrne chased Arnold Schwarzenegger through the tunnels in End of Days. Why would Gabriel Byrne do such a thing? Because Schwarzenegger is absconding with Satan's bride! If there's one thing cinema has taught us about The Evil One, it's that he is always, always looking for ladies to impregnate.

    Market Price: Unclear, but the public's devil-tithe cost keeps going up in leaps and bounds. And the planned 2nd Avenue subway line keeps adding to its budget the cost of evacuating residents whose homes may be endangered by subterranean blasting.


    When the Devil is involved, prices go up and stay high. Or maybe it's just New York real estate in general, which is synonymous with "Satan" anyway.