1. Aggressive Song/Video Recommendations

If you have control of the aux cord in the Uber, you must bend to the people’s will. Be a good populist and pick songs everyone knows the lyrics to. Do not play a remix that you swear we’ll love. Do not show off your nuanced taste. Do not use the word ‘sonically’ to tell us why we should appreciate your deliberately abstruse selection. 

Play “HYFR” and don’t go to the next song until the first verse is done. Forcing your music on others is as annoying as Kourtney forcing her veganism down her sister’s throats. 

In that same vein, no one wants to watch a video on your phone. I’ll eventually watch it if you DM it to me. Or slack/Gchat it to me so I can watch it at work. I want to react to RHCP carpool karaoke without any expectations. I want to watch Pete Davidson’s Weekend Update bit without scrutiny. I do not want to sit beside you and feel pressure to react at 125% to make you feel like you’ve found a gem.

[Photo via @bymariaandrew]

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