2. The Late Cancel (obviously excluding emergencies)

I’m considering adopting the policy that popular restaurants use: $35 fine for cancellations fewer than 24 hours beforehand. Simon & the Whale requires that you cancel by noon the day prior to your dinner. I like that policy—it demands (bare minimum) respect and I can fill your time slot with a friend who just overtook you in my Friend Leaderboard. I honestly think if I adopted this policy I would have earned over $1000 in the past two years alone—and most of it would have been from the same three or four repeat offenders. Use the combined powers of forethought and text messaging to cancel earlier. What? Like, it’s hard?

I know I tend toward draconian on this issue, but I’m open to the tentative plan and I appreciate the ‘I may have to cancel’ warning. What is unforgivable and phase-out worthy is the blasé late cancel in response to my confirmation text

Me: Good for 8 tn?

Sinner: I’m not feeling it tonight/Tomorrow would be better/I have so much work

Right. OK sure—but at what point were you going to share this information? Couldn’t you have at least exercised agency in derailing the plan instead of passively waiting to ruin my night? If you’re going to late cancel, call so I can be certain my pissed off tone comes through.

[Photo via @jooleeloren]

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