Riff Raff
Yes, Jody Highroller is on Tinder. Yes, I swiped right out of morbid curiosity. Yes, we matched and he would FaceTime me a bunch and asked me to go to Vegas with him. But that's not the point of the story. The point is to never, ever swipe right on someone whose tattoos make them look like the bumper stickers on the 7th grade boy's binder who spends all of his allowance at Spencer's Gifts. Actually, the point is also to brag that a celebrity swiped right on me.
[Photo via @scarletcicero]