Most people think of sadomasochism or S&M as a sexual act that is kinky and hardcore. While it can be classified as both, it’s much more than you’d expect and could be just the thing you needed to take your sex life to the next level. Research has shown that it does have a positive effect on couples by helping them build trust and learn to be honest with one another. Here’s a list of the basics to help you and bae jumpstart your S&M role-play.

[Photo via @victoriassecret]