Behold, The Ultimate Woman

by Courtney McGowan · January 9, 2012

    In what can only be described as a milestone in modern technology, the folks over at the Daily Mail took on the arduous task of polling female readers on what they considered the most admired and desired features of their favorite celebrities. What resulted is nothing short of terrifying. - - -

    Behold, after minutes of scientific research and a half hour of Photoshop, here is the ultimate woman.

    At first glance I said to myself, hey, Lea Michele looks different.  Upon further investigation, I spotted the ever famous pillow pout of Angelina Jolie, the severe arches of the universe's favorite- Megan Fox, and a rather generous chest area courtesy of someone I vaguely recognized, but not really. (see: Kelly Brook)

    Sure, Gwyneth Paltrow's chin looks like a chin, and the Duchess of Cambridge has great hair as far as hair goes, but there is something completely off-putting about this celebrity Frankenstein as a whole.  Perhaps it is her blank, listless eyes, or the fact that she reminds me of eight separate people.

    Apparently others agree. My favorite bit of commentary comes from an articulate user by the name of Island Girl, from somewhere called Caribbean Soliloquies, which may or not be a Carnival cruise ship:

    "she would look even more beautiful if she had blue eyes, not brown cow eyes."

    I appreciate your insight, Carnival Cruise ship native.

    As someone with "soulless pale blue eyes of those Siberian Huskie dogs", I too, feel gypped.