Falling off the Treadmill at the Gym
This sounds insane. Who falls off a treadmill, right? Wrong. So wrong. There are SO many scenarios in which one could easily be thrown right off the treadmill, and because you most likely hate the gym and don’t want to be there to begin with, this situation is infinitely worse. Here are two of the most common mishaps that cause this accident:
(1) As you increase the treadmill speed to a mad dash of 4.8 MPH, your well-conditioned hair begins to slip out of your ponytail holder. You try to tighten it middle-school style by grabbing half of the ponytail in each hand and pulling out until the ponytail holder becomes so tight that it feels like it’s pulling your eyes out. This will also make your ponytail bumpy, and you soon realize that the only option is to take your hair down and redo it. You get your hair out of the messy, tight pony with no problem, but a girl can only do so many things at once, and running, watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and securing a slip-free hair-do is simply not possible. It’s now, during the ponytail redo that you trip, or just forget to run, and go sailing off the back of the treadmill like you were just thrown off a ski lift. This is horrible.
(2) But scenario #2 is even more horrible. Scenario 2 happens only at the beginning of your run, when you are trying to plug your headphones into the impossibly small headphone jack on the front of the treadmill. A very obvious solution to this problem would be to plug the headphones in before starting the treadmill, but for people who don’t want to hang around the gym even one more second than they need to, plugging and running at the same time is the only way to go. It’s while you’re squinting to get a better look at the position of the teeny headphone jack that you slip, but this isn’t your normal slip, where you can catch yourself coolly enough that none of the hot guys on the treadmills behind you notice. This is the kind of slip where you try to catch yourself on the side bar of the treadmill, but end up flopped over the bar, which is not a good look for anyone.
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