Zero Bond Sets Its Sights On East Hampton, But Will It Win The Fight Against Locals?

The battle for the soul of East Hampton is underway. Well, at least that's what the recent Village Board meetings would have you think...

Nightlife staple Scott Sartiano's plan to bring Zero Bond to the beach has found the road out East littered with potholes, as residents and local officials threaten to enforce a not-so-late-night curfew on the hopeful spot.

A public hearing in East Hampton last week was filled with residents in support of proposed legislation that would limit “eating and drinking establishments” in historic districts from serving anything after 10PM (currently this time is set at 11PM), and from remaining open at all after 11PM. Any violators would be subject to a fine of $1,500 per day. And while the passed law would affect all businesses in the area, its proposal is clearly meant to stymie Zero Bond from renting The Hedges Inn. 

What's been presented as a fight against late-night noise (I mean forget sharks, noise after sundown is truly the ultimate enemy of East Enders) is in many ways a poorly veiled fight against the "ultra rich" and "high profile crowd" that set their sights upon the town long ago.

“I happen to be about 30 yards behind the Hedges Inn on Hook Pond Lane,” shared Kenneth Lipper, a not exactly financially wanting former partner at Lehman Brothers turned Ed Koch political sidekick who's obviously personally invested in the case. “As a former deputy mayor of New York, it's the duty, not only the right, for public officials to protect the health and safety of their community. That is embedded as the main purpose for local government. The entire length of Hook Pond, instead of being inhabited by swans, will be inhabited by groups of these people who will make a permanent encampment. That will offend the rights of every person in the village and these people don't arrive by taking the Jitney, they come in with their private jets. And the way the airport is currently unregulated, these jets can come and go at will.”

Nothing grinds the gears of the rich like the just-a-little-bit richer.. Homes on Hook Pond Lane have recently sold for as much as $21.8 million, so seems the neighborhood's already inhabited by "groups of these people" - whatever that really means - no? And regarding the Jitney reference, East Hampton airport's private jet traffic is already a huge problem, yes - but in reality the introduction of one particular new place for billionaires to grab drinks isn't actually going to move the needle there. No one will be flying out just for that specific pleasure alone.

Marty Cohen, the Chairman of Guild Hall's board, made his thoughts on the matter (which would affect the museum's events) quite clear. “Why ten o’clock? Eleven o’clock has been working fabulously. To change the rules for an entire neighborhood because of one inn that might be doing something objectionable, everyone is going to suffer from that, I think unnecessarily.”

For two summers Eleven Madison Park's EMP Summer House pop-up on Pantigo Road basically acted as a private members club for American Express card carriers looking to overpay for wine and lobster rolls and try not to pick up ticks while socially grazing on the lawn. There's a Chanel and a Prada and a Gucci one right after the other on Newtown Lane. Guacamole costs $29 at The Seafood Shop. 

Sure, Zero Bond's typical patrons are often annoying money-tossers. And sure, the private members club would no doubt become a sceney hub of sorts. But East Hampton is already filled with its crowd, and the Hamptons in general is already a private members club..

What's one more hour of ordering dinner and drinks, keeping the rules as they already are? Why complicate the operations of every other establishment in the neighborhood just to stick it to Scott Sartiano?

Fighting to protect the faux integrity of this simple little small beach town is a noble pursuit, but it’s sadly a war that’s been won by the wealthy, don't you think?

[Photos via The Hedges Inn, Zero Bond]