Slide #2

Coachella
Where/When Is It?: Indio, CA (April 13-15, 20-22) What's It Like?: Oh, Coachella. As you can tell by this year's two-weekend schedule, our little baby Coachellerzz is growing up (some might say selling out) but that doesn't mean it's going to stop any of us from braving the guaranteed clusterfuck of the 10 freeway for the chance to see cool USC bro's in mankinis getting high on mescaline and re-enacting scenes from Fear And Loathing to the sounds of Dre & Snoop. Notable Acts: Radiohead, Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg, Pulp, Black Keys. Types of People: Everyone. Everyone you've ever worked with or lived with or stood in line with to buy scones at Trader Joe's. In so many ways, anything goes. Pros: Coachella always has a damn good lineup, and being so far out of a major city makes it easy to focus all your energies on the festival at hand. It's a whole new world. Plus, Coachella is as entertaining to the eyes as it is to the ears. For those of you who haven't yet guessed it, Coachella is actually a giant masturbatory lookbook, which means you'll be privy to sights like under-age sirens with feathers in their hair dancing in the non-existent breeze, mustachioed rockers in spandex jumpsuits pelvic-thrusting, portly Santa Clauses in cut-off jorts also pelvic-thrusting, and hammer pants.
 And let's not forget the beautiful people! All the Hollywood celebs will be there. They fly in on their private golden helicopters with ivory tusk propellers (it's true, I researched it.) Cons: Indio is in the desert... which is one step away from partying in hell. The best info to glean from this is if you didn't book an extortionately priced hotel and were planning on sleeping in your car, know that you're actually just going to be sleeping in a noisy, sweaty sauna. Oh, and the cell phone service is horrendous if you're lucky enough to get any on the festival grounds; assume any incoming texts were sent at least 30 minutes prior to receiving them.
2 of 9

The Guest List

More