Bottle Girls Pop Out Of Coffins As Clubs Reopen In L.A.

In the midst of a deadly pandemic and ongoing protests, restrictions on areas of commerce previously dubbed "nonessential" have been lifting across the country, finally answering the question on everybody's mind: What does a nightclub look like in a dystopia? 

Apparently, it looks like scantily clad servers wearing face masks and popping bottles while popping out of coffins. Hmm... sure, that sounds ridiculous enough to be true considering, well, *gestures broadly.*

Such was the actual scene at L.A.'s Penthouse Day Club, which opened its doors this Sunday for the first time since California lockdowns began back in March. The "soft reopening" came in the form of a brunch party wherein table reservations were mandatory and individual groups were capped at 10 people. 

And though face masks seemed to dot the crowd, and appeared to be diligently worn by club employees, any valiant attempts at social distancing were clearly futile. Of course, the measurements between partygoers isn't nearly as alarming as the literal CASKET being paraded around for reasons unbeknownst to us. Could it be a cheeky reference to the risk people are taking with their lives in order to sip some overpriced Armand de Brignac? Or maybe a fun way to commemorate the hundreds of thousands of people who've died from COVID worldwide? Whatever the case, we sure hope that roughly $20,000 spectacle was worth it!

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Here’s what you missed yesterday @phdayclubla .🔥⠀ .⠀
A post shared by K the Promoter (@kay_thepromoter) on Jun 15, 2020 at 9:35am PDT