Do's And Don'ts: Dim Mak Sunday Summer Swim Parties

by Alex Gilman · May 24, 2011

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    Aren't you glad Sunday is a party day again? I'm a Jew, so when it's not football season, Sunday literally has nothing to offer except long lines at Trader Joe's and suffering through my friends complaining about the upcoming work week. That is, unless some generous souls offer to throw a weekly pool party blowout. Luckily for us, the Dim Mak fellows are those generous souls, and their Sunday Summer Night Swim Parties are putting our Sundays back on the right track. It's just, some people aren't exactly used to partying on God's Day, so they make rookie mistakes. Here, then, are a few little tips and tricks to look like an old pro.

    DO Dress To Impress

    I know it's Sunday night, and your natural inclination is to throw on a hoodie and your favorite pair of Junderpants, but you have to fight that impulse. If you're going out, you're going out, and if the goal is to make yourself feel like you're still enjoying the weekend, you need to dress the part. Besides, that Ultimate Fighting tribal tattoo t-shirt that you think makes you look casual and bad-ass at the same time really just makes you look like you drive a truck with Monster Energy stickers on it. You don't do that, do you?

    DON'T Bite Boobs

    You'd almost think this would be self-explanatory, but for you Marv Albert-types out there, here goes: what often seems like a funny idea on a Saturday night is far less funny on Sunday morning. By that logic, if you're drinking on a Sunday night, your shame and remorse (and soreness) are carrying over into your work-week. If explaining to Barb from Accounting why you have an ice-pack on your left nip is your idea of a good time, then by all means, chomp (and be chomped) away. Otherwise, stick to some gentle tweaking or nipple clamps.

    DO Switch To Beer

    Same logic as above, more or less: what seems like a good idea at night doesn't always seem so good in the morning. And while this may have been an unfair way for your parents to tell you the story of how you were born, at least it can serve as useful advice as you contemplate whether to Jager-Bomb it up at 11:30 pm on Sunday night. Why not drink some cold, refreshing beer instead? You might not be able to rage to the maximum possible level, but you're also far less likely to start out your Monday by vom'ing on the conference table. Life's all about trade-offs- right, Mom and Dad?