SBE's The Colony Tries To Bring The Hamptons To Hollywood

Sam Nazarian has really outdone himself in attaching salient motifs to L.A. entertainment and hospitality with his most recent enterprise. Behold SBE's newest creation, The Colony, the Hollywood nightspot which debuts today, and attempts to create the experience of being at a beach in the Hamptons.  Seriously. Forget the airport design scheme of the late LAX, the bordello vibes at Playhouse, and the masked, crawling naked dancers and bondage of Voyeur -- The Colony takes things to another level and gives new meaning to themed nightclubs.

This latest venture in L.A. nightlife pretends to bring patrons to the summery Long Island coast, with a substantial sandy patch outside the club along the front and a wood-plank beach path ramp up to the door.  When we first glanced at the pictures, we assumed they were of some new place on the beach in Malibu until we read on to discover they were actually of a nightclub about 30 miles away. The name itself probably makes Angelenos think of the real Colony, as in Malibu's, where all the big houses and best 4th of July parties are. There's even a sky blue lifeguard tower right above the entrance, and inside you'll find seating areas made of padded periwinkle dinghy's and seersucker pillows. The press release reads,

"The Colony represents the next evolution of definitive SBE nightlife experience. Embodying the spirit of the exclusive Hamptons' lifestyle, the approximately 13,000 square foot space will be the largest nightlife venue in the SBE Collection."

The novelty of the place might make it fun at first and we kind of want to check it out in person, but we suspect -- no, we know -- this is just like another one of SBE's "hotspots" in disguise.  Dressing the place up in L.A.'s notion of preppy and what the Hamptons might be like is just a gimmick.  We appreciate the imagination behind it but, with all due respect, it's going to take a lot more than some sand and seersucker to make the place feel like the Hamptons.  If the clientele is anything like what SBE's other clubs see, which is pretty much a certainty, this place is destined to fail in its attempt to capture the essence of the Long Island retreat. We can already hear the snickers and cracks from New Yorkers, east coast WASPs and people who have actually been to the Hamptons who see The Colony as the biggest joke to grace the left coast.  It's kind of embarrassing...

We're interested to see how L.A. receives the place. As with any new nightclub, it will undoubtedly have droves of hopefuls swarming the front entrance, semi-famous DJ's and a healthy dose of celebs for at least the first few months.  They should totally leave out some beach toys for people to build sand castles while they're waiting in line to get in!

[All photos by Elizabeth Daniels via Eater]