"I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds. But pigs, not so much. So I don't eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl."

-Nicolas Cage

Whoa, mama. Just... yikes. Um, I really don't even know from which angle to approach or respond to this due the many layers of crazy and WTF this statement provokes, so I'll just pose some questions:

1) Really, man? Really??

2) How often is Nic Cage watching animals have sex... and WHY?! Like, does he frequent a farm on a slow afternoon for a matinee showing here and there? Or is he sitting around Googling videos of animal sex?? Oy...

3) Why on earth would their level of dignity during sex bear any weight on whether someone chooses to eat a particular animal species? What's the logic behind that one?

4) So what exactly qualifies dignified animal sex? With him watching? Or them being filmed? Is that what we're meant to understand as dignified?! Are we applying the same standards of dignified human sex to that of the animals? Does that mean that any species that does doggystyle is out?

[photo via]