"I started working out because I want to be slim, young and attractive forever. But it didn't work out. I'm not slim, I'm not young, I'm not attractive."

-Ozzy Osbourne to Rolling Stone via

Truth. But you're not supposed to be; you're the Prince of Darkness and we like you old, dumpy and feeble. You do, however, have quite an extraordinary head of hair--like a Pantene commercial after you've had a blow-out.

[photo via]