Earrings
Honestly, props to you for making it this easy to identify you as a douchebag. You have raised douchebaggery to an art form and for that I applaud you. How self-absorbed and or delusional do you have to be to get your ears pierced if you are a guy? When I was five and Barry Bonds was my favorite baseball player, he had pierced ears. Even then, through all of my idolization and for how much I looked up to him, I knew he was a douchebag. If you are a man and are out in public, strutting along with pierced ears, then you just might be absolutely, one hundred percent, without a doubt in anyone's mind, are a total and utter douchebag. There is little hope for you.
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