This Smoothie Is The Only Reason I Get Out Of Bed

by Christie Grimm · April 17, 2020

    It's not as if I'm the first person to realize that it's important to have things to look forward to in life. Keeping spirits high by looking ahead to a party you have on the books or a vacation that's on the horizon. 

    Personally, on a daily basis, it's not my work which needs to get done (and trust me, I've a very fun job), or my dog who needs to get walked (and she's very adorable), or even my husband (may I just say I have no idea how he survived before me), that gets me out of bed. It's the promise of a cold, thick smoothie.

    During these desperate indoor times, I figured why not share the love? So, here's my secret recipe that will make sense mostly just to me, but you should be able to get the gist. 

    To begin, I fill my fun little NutriBullet halfway with frozen blueberries, one quarter with frozen peaches, and one quarter with frozen raspberries. Next, I put that in the microwave (without the metal blade top on, obviously) for 1 minute. I take it out when it has 2 seconds left because I hate the four beeps that ensue once you've let the smug microwave fully complete it's assignment. Basically, this step is so that my blender doesn't attempt suicide from all of the frozen things. I have lost many a blender before making this adjustment.

    I then take a spoon and smash all of the fruit down to make room for the good stuff.

    In normal, non-viral wartimes, I am a diehard fan of Whole Foods Honey Roasted Peanut Butter. You know, the one you make in the machine by the back of the bulk nuts section, which inevitably gets you in a sticky situation, overfilling your little plastic container. Love me that shit. But alas, the bulk areas of yore have been scrapped due to contamination worries.

    Now, instead of 2 incredibly heaping spoonfuls of my beloved spread, I add one packet of Justin's Honey Peanut Butter. To say it's not the same is an understatement, but we must all make our sacrifices in the face of Coronavirus I suppose. Next up in this smoothie samba is one banana, which you'll have to smush in there to make fit. And then, again, just to make it so the blender doesn't kill itself, I add the smallest dash of almond milk. So little it basically looks like you tripped and it got in there on accident.

    It must be noted that there was a time when I would also add some Spirulina. But all of the green stains it left on my fingers and my kitchen aside, I did not in fact find myself feeling like Miranda Kerr, so that step has since been nixed.

    Slap on that top and blend that puppy up. Over-blending is definitely my pet peeve. I'd rather get a rogue frozen blueberry surprise straight up the straw (like a Bubble Tea sensation, which is a whole other pet peeve that needs it's own article - nay series!), than be left with an over pulsed sad limp liquid situation.

    Don't be like the people at Juice Press or Pure Green who leave plenty of good smoothie behind. Do not be afraid to aggressively bang out all of the smoothie from the top. Then give the whole thing a good lick over. The blades aren't going to hurt you, so really get in there. [But if they do, just saying I am not liable for any injuries incurred by others in this pursuit.]

    Transfer your smoothie to a glass of your choice, plop in a straw and get sipping. Mine is a Chefanie Ceramic Bamboo Straw, because presentation is, of course, everything.

    Wasn't this fun? You're welcome!