New York: it's the scummiest, dirtiest city around with the scummiest, dirtiest people. And guess what? You're probably one of them! You are jaded and cynical compared to the rays of fucking sunshine in Los Angeles or the Marcia Bradys of the suburbs. But then again, at least you don't live in Los Angeles or the suburbs.

Take it from me, a hot bitch who is also human garbage: there are easy ways to detox your life without going all Goop on everyone's asses. Sure, you're a New Yorker so you're dead inside, but that doesn't mean your insides couldn't use some detoxifying! Who knows, maybe you'll actually be able to make it through (most of) the week sober and smiling once this is over?

[Photo via @candicekumai]