All Tomorrow's Parties: The Nobody's Guide To Looking Like A Somebody

“Wearing the same thing every day brings me closer to fulfilling my dream of becoming a cartoon.” I Tweeted it because it’s true. Uniforms help people recognize you. For example, “Pantyhose as Pants” or “Hag Using Grocery Bag as Purse” were my faves. It’s better to be broke while coming up; that will clear up your priorities. When you have to choose between food, booze or a textbook but you end up buying a fishnet bodysuit, you’ll know which life is for you. Years ago, I felt trapped by my six black polyester dresses. I envied the girls who could experiment with looks and layer in the cold. But my shortcomings revealed valuable lessons. A year-round wardrobe made me realize there’s nothing chicer than being over-dressed in summer and under-dressed in winter! (That’s what celebrities do, take note.) So, will you be known as the “Shiny Forehead in Tights,” “Pasties With Granny Panties” or “Classy in Cheetah Print” ? Choose one and stick with it until you've got a following.