East Village To Welcome Unironic Frat Bar

East Villagers were displeased when Superdive brought flip-cup and "keg service" to their once-edgy hood. But EVGrieve tells us things are about to get worse with the opening of The 13th Step (from the folks behind literary salons Down the Hatch and Off the Wagon) in the old Telephone Bar space.

Superdive is an atrocity. And it taunts locals by being on the constant verge of closure. But between the winking name and over-the-top frat boy ridiculousness of the place (pour your own drinks! bring your own roofies!), you've got to assume it's in on the joke, even if none of the popped-collared douchery inside is.

So it is with a heavy, nicotine-stained heart that the few holdouts left from the neighborhood's revolutionary heyday greet The 13th Step. Why so serious? Consider the "testimonials" included on the websites of 13th Step's sister bars. There's Down the Hatch ("Hip, cool, young, rocking," with a kitchen run by Atomic Wings!). Also, Off the Wagon (something about a "crazy protractor forehead" and a quote from someone charmingly labeled "Drunk Lady"). And don't forget Jake's Dilemma ("If you venture downstairs, you won't believe your eyes" if you see a bathroom clear of vomit).

We wish the team behind The 13th Step would take a cue from their "clever" AA-inspired bar names and become anonymous.

See you at Mars Bar, where the real alcoholics hang out.