"My President Is Black, My Lambo's Blue, And I'll Be Damned If There's Stimulus Too"

by Stanely Stuyvesant · March 10, 2009

    [We be havin' such a good time!  For Realz]

    By now you've probably heard Young Jeezy's new song "My President Is Black", featuring the eloquent verse"My president is black, my Lambo's blue and I'll be goddamned if my rims ain't too".  Well, promoters across the city have been bee-bopping to this song for a while now, but they most likely wouldn't mind a slight tweak to the verse.

    A few weeks ago we talked about how B-list promoters are the ones who are actually benefiting from the current economic downturn, while bankers are the ones on the bottom. Yes, an obvious thesis.  So we will compound it a little further.  For the last 8 months most of us have been dodging unemployment and impending economic doom.  When you email a friend's work account and get the bounceback, "unknown user," you can't help but wonder if you too will soon meet this fate.  While most people are either worse off or hanging on by a thread, there is a small group of people who are immune or actually doing better, and ultimately might not necessarily welcome an upturn, or the economic stimulus being proposed to remedy the situation by the Democratic party and our President.

    Enter the promoter. No they don't have Lambos, but they do have bottles. In the boom times these guys who wrangled enough models would have free tables specifically reserved for them despite people lining up behind them to pay mega bucks for that table or any other table.  So what's changed?  Well, there ain't no one lining up to buy tables anymore, so the only people remaining at those tables are the promoters cause they never paid anyway.  What does this mean?  Promoters don't have anymore table competition from other people, instead of being a big fish in a big pond, they are the only fish in the pond.

    It's now easier for the promoter to delude himself about his lifestyle, and easier to convince the models he corals to come out.  It's even easier for him to cop an asexual feel because he looks like such a high-roller.  Promoters don't really register that it is kind of tacky to be celebrating so lavishly when times are bad because heck, times have really always been bad for them.  Furthermore, none of their friends are doing worse, they are all actually doing better.  As for tightening the belt, well, it was always tight for these guys, they were bargain hunting before they got off the bus at Penn Station. No life change there.

    It's not the Republicans who want Obama's stimulus bill to fail, its actually the promoters, even though they don't know it.  Right now they are on cloud nine trying to soak in every minute.  It's not difficult to smoke these unwitting would-be-filibusters, they are usually wearing hoodies on their head indoors and acting a little too happy with life.  This is usually conveyed by pursed lips or shit-eating grin.  They purposely dress down as a foil to the opulence at their table, although they probably wouldn't articulate it that way.  Clubber beware!