Dangerous Side Effect Of Drinking Too Much: Purchasing An Adorable Puppy

by Mara Siegler · July 5, 2011

    People do crazy things when they're hammered. Many text their ex, some have one night stands, a few commit crimes and get arrested, and others eat the entire contents of their fridge. And apparently, there are enough people who buy puppies from certain West Village pet stores to necessitate enacting an official ban against it.

    On a scale of 1 to holyshithowamistill...whathappenedlastnight, I can't imagine how wasted you have to get to do this. I've spent a few nights blacked out, as I think many of us have who have gone to college have. I've never bought a puppy, don't know a single person who has done this, and never even read a Tweet about this. Have you?  Did you purchase Mopsy after a bottle of Jack Daniels? Cute things plus booze=regrets?   Is this abnormal or just a hidden secret no one talks about, a taboo topic that many struggle with and attend secret Dog Buyers Anonymous meetings in church basements about?

    The manager of Le Petite Puppy, Fernanda Moritz, on Christopher St. has seen this behavior so often she has banned it.  Citipups, another pet store down the block also forbids intoxicated customers from purchasing a new family member, reports DNAInfo.

    The epidemic is believed to be caused by the high number of bars and boozy brunches on the street, with a larger number of drunkenly-purchasing-a-puppy occurrences during large-scale events like the Gay Pride and St. Patrick's Day Parade.  Dogs have been dropped by drunk customers who want to hold them and the Citipups owner recalls selling a Chihuahua to a drunk women who returned it the next day after feeding it pills.

    Let this be a lesson. Next time you are sloshed and see a doggy in the window, walk away. It does not need to come home with you. It will not make you happy.  Instead, choose the less dangerous shitfaced behavior and go home and Facebook stalk someone or just pass out instead.

    [Top image via]