How Much Money Should A Cheating Husband Offer Not To Tell His Wife?

by Guest of A Guest · December 30, 2022

The classic New York dilemma - your wife is out of town caring for her sick mother, and your girlfriend's desperate to live up this chance opportunity and be taken out for a daylight joy ride around town!

So, do you shuffle her somewhere decidedly inconspicuous or side-piece friendly (like the Ritz-Carlton Nomad, which we've heard is literally crawling with call girls), or do you live on the edge and hit up your favorite joint marital haunt, Balthazar (you know, because you're a guy who likes what he likes and hates settling for any less)?

Well, in the case of one Mr. D, it seems the tempting combo of danger and steak frites was just too much to resist yesterday!

Ever the Puckish shit stirrer, restaurateur Keith McNally shared this Thursday's daily report from his Balthazar manager, which included a charming little anecdote about a married regular offering her $100 not to tell his wife about his lunch liaison with his girlfriend...

Ever the professional, she of course declined the proposition.

A pretty gross, shitty position to put someone in, obviously. But the real question is, just $100? Doesn't that sound crazy cheap for dragging someone into a formal bribe situation?

Like, you might as well give nothing before you offer up a stingy $100! Starting rate should at least be $500! Silence is golden, and gold will cost you.

Anyway, God bless this poor woman out there married to someone so sloppy and cheap...