New York's Hot Rabbi, Rebecca Keren Eisenstadt, Embraces Spirituality In Style

Jewish culture is an inherent part of the New York landscape. But being a practicing member of the faith isn't all bagels and lox.

Rebecca Keren Eisenstadt is the go-to spiritual guide for metropolitan Jewish families in search of a closer connection to Judaism. The private Rabbi works one-on-one with clients to bring the teachings and traditions of the synagogue to the comfort of their homes, adding in her signature flair along the way. She's a tutor, she's a consultant, she officiates bar mitzvahs, weddings, funerals, baby namings and more. Oh, and not to mention she's currently filming a docuseries with Reese Witherspoon’s production company Hello Sunshine, which will follow her busy life as a modern Rabbi.

Curious to get to know the stylish spiritual leader?

When did you know you wanted to become a Rabbi?
There were several “ah-ha” moments that led me to advance my Jewish education beyond 12 years of a rigorous Jewish Day School, an observant upbringing, and independent adult learning. One of the biggest factors was a fictional novel that my artistic mentor, Elizabeth Swados (z’l), wrote and dedicated to me right before she passed away from cancer. One of the characters IS me, right down to the charm necklace, prominent nose, eye-liner and passion for spinning classes. That character is a Jewish Subjects Tutor to young adults in NYC and helps families heal and come together around a Bat Mitzvah. At the end of this novel, my character becomes a Rabbi. I asked my mentor if that is what she saw for me and my future. Liz encouraged me to start interviewing at Rabbinical Schools and I began the process.

How did you come to start your own practice, outside of a synagogue?
I am a member of an orthodox synagogue in New York and have been on faculty of many synagogues of different denominations in and around NYC. I love every Jewish institution I encounter and have great respect for their great work. Still, I haven’t quite found the one that feels like a perfect match for me. (No, we aren’t talking about dating, we are talking about a religious homebase). I work mostly with New Yorkers who are entrepreneurs in some aspect of their lives. They do not fit the mold either and that’s normally part of their secret sauce. 

I began to notice people had a craving for Judaism’s rituals and values in the age of increasing availability and customization. The institution model wasn’t cutting it, it wasn’t reaching many people’s specific needs. Think Uber and Postmates. Maybe there was a child with a learning or physical challenge, an interfaith couple, LGBTQ+ members, or divorce that makes the typical synagogue practice with typical events off-putting. I began to supplement religious instruction, education and officiation where the institution wasn’t able to meet the demand. I cannot replace the community feeling of a congregation, a historic building with stained glass, an orchestra, and the resources of some of these synagogues. I don’t have the experience or gravitas of many of these wonderful Rabbis that I look up to. But I meet my constituents where they are at and find what turns them on to their culture. I figure out what they need in order to get closer to Judaism, God or their practice. My modern sensibilities, explanations, and vulnerability is what helps others feel safe to open and thrive Jewishly.

What are the biggest matters that metropolitan families need advice on today?
Most families that I work with are looking for a Rabbi who gets how busy they are while still prioritizing being Jewish. They are pulled in a zillion directions and don’t want any judgment. They want someone who can be efficient with time to prepare them for either a Holiday ritual, mastery of a subject or a ceremony. Most are working towards an event; baby-naming, bar or bat mitzvah, wedding, conversion or a funeral. They are turning to me because they want something out of the ordinary, to fuse their creativity with Jewish practice. They want lots of one-on-one attention and a positive feeling when I’m there and when I leave.

Are there any tenants or traditions of Judaism that you think families tend to struggle with incorporating into their lives?
The name “Israel” literally means “struggles with God.” This was one of the names of the Biblical patriarch Jacob, as well as of our Jewish nation as a whole. There’s a lot that’s difficult about being Jewish. Fortunately there are different denominations with different expectations of adherence to the rules and restrictions of the religion. I find that for most modern Jews, they compartmentalize their Judaism. For some, it has little meaning other than spending meals with family and making their parents and grandparents happy. They are bored or checked out from religious services altogether. I think that largely comes from a lack of understanding the language of prayers and purpose of what we do as Jews.

Understanding the depths of our religion takes years, dedication and continued struggle. Judaism is an onion and we can continue to peel the layers back with each year. There is a mindlessness to American Practice that Sarah Hurwitz addresses in her book Here All Along. Hurwitz admits her Jewish knowledge was stunted when she stopped engaging in her religious education right after her Bat mitzvah - so her education was only that of a middle-schooler. This is very common for metropolitan Jews. No wonder they find the religion corney, unrelatable, and uninteresting. Things that are easier to connect with - and
frankly more exciting - end up winning out for a young modern Jew’s attention. They also chose to be less religious in their practices and families. In a few generations this lack of understanding and relevance translates to lack of practice. Providers like myself can keep the religion, rituals and prayers current and relevant.

What's your go-to work day outfit?
When I’m leading a service I’m dressed to the nines or tens— usually a midi or maxi length dress with satin, lace or sparkles. I love getting glam and done up. While officiating, I wear my signature Tallit or prayer shawl: turquoise and purple silk painted with blue and white fringes to represent the commandments we keep. Contrast that with when I'm instructing children and families. Sometimes I’m dressed in Lululemon hand-me-downs from my former roommate who is a celebrity personal trainer, designer hand-me-downs from my clients or my older sister (who works in fashion). And then there is Gilt/RueLaLa or sample sales. I have some great clothes but rarely pay retail. I try to keep it classy and modest while staying trendy.

What's the most traditional thing about you?
Most people think the most traditional thing about me is that I keep Kosher dietary rules and specifically only drink only Kosher wine. Wine is such an integral part of the way we bring in Shabbat, Holidays and worship God. Maintaining a Kosher diet helps me stay constantly active in a relationship with God. Everything that nourishes my body is in line with respecting my relationship with God. I don’t keep the rules because I'm just supposed to. I do it because it helps me feel more connected.

What's the most untraditional thing about you?
Untraditional? I guess it depends who you ask. To some – just me being a female Rabbi is pretty untraditional. Being a rabbi that isn’t married is pretty rare. Being a Rabbi with docuseries in development with Reese Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine who's willing to share her personal and professional life with the world is pretty untraditional. So is my instagram handle @myhotrabbi, featuring glamor shots & my adorable Shihpoo, Scout.

How do you bring your personal flair into your work?
There are many ways I bring my own flair into my work. I bring my little 12 pound Shihpoo everywhere I go. He wears a tuxedo to weddings and bar mitzvahs. I love music and theater and draw a lot of analogies to Beyonce and other pop culture icons. I use Ipads, Iphones, and social media. I have my brightly colored prayer shawl that is totally recognizable and like none other. There is no separation of my personal life and my professional life. I put Jewish symbols on my long nails and wear Jewish jewelry that gets tangled in my signature long wavy hair.

What are some of the coolest bar or bat mitzvahs you've been to?
The coolest parties are normally those that reflect a lot of special touches and customization. Of course, it is unreal to have parties in historic venues, hotels, ballrooms, stadiums and even museums. I love it when the wedding or bar mitzvah is in someone’s home as well. And the ultimate is to do it all in the holy land. Having a religious ceremony and celebration in Israel is like none other.

Have any dating advice when it comes to looking for love in the community?
My dating advice is the same advice Moses gave to Joshua before he took over as leader and entered the promised land: be strong and brave. There are going to be plenty of moments in the modern dating age that are tough, hurtful and disappointing. Even if you only date religious people, guys and girls can still be heartbreakers and you can get heart broken. The only way to find someone is to be bold, brave and to keep putting yourself out there, staying hopeful and saying yes to opportunities.

Are there any NYC spots in particular that you think singles should hit up?
Singles should try places of worship! Sorry for the total clergy answer.

What's the biggest misconception people have when they find out you're a rabbi?
People assume a rabbi can’t have a good time. Being b’simcha, happy, is perhaps one of our greatest purposes in life as human beings. It’s a great way to glorify G-d. Clergy can pursue passion and hobbies. We are allowed to fall in laughter, love, dance, and encouraged to do so when appropriate.

What are you most excited for next?
I am excited for my upcoming and developing work in the entertainment space. It’s been so fun to develop a series sharing the unique and meaningful work I do as a female leader in a formerly male dominated world, and as a spiritual conduit for special families. What I do is universal and audiences have always appreciated learning about traditional or ancient cultures. I hope to share my story with the world and contribute to positive portrayals of Jewish people in the media and beyond. I hope to spread awareness of the variety of Jewish practice and depth of Jewish engagement available to those who are searching.

[Photos by Alex Korolkovas]