The Henchman
Listen, we all have that one friend in the group who we kind of wonder WTF they're doing there. Do you really think Kim Kardashian hangs out with Jonathan Cheban for his winning personality? Probably not. But anyone who watches the show knows that literally every member of Kim's family is willing to make fun of her for her vanity, her 72 day marriage, her ugly crying face...the list goes on. While being surrounded by a family that pulls no punches 24/7, Kim kind of actually needs a henchman like Jonathan to stay sane. The way they see it: your reputation is also their reputation. Is that pathetic? Yes. Is it true? For them, it is. But since they live and breathe for you, they're willing to sacrifice their integrity and dignity to protect your brand. They'll get into petty social media fights without skipping a beat to defend your honor. They'll gladly scream "Do you know who this girl is?" at a maître d' because you don't have the audacity to do it yourself. The henchman sucks all the air out of the room, but if they suck your proverbial d*ck, who cares?
[Photo via @jonathancheban]
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