The Bitch

Sometimes you wonder why you even hang out with her. She has little to no grasp on tact or sensitivity. What she considers brutal honesty is less honest and more of mean and uncalled for. She thinks her opinion is the gospel truth, and she won't hear otherwise. She is completely incapable of taking even the slightest criticism that she will far too eagerly dole out to people who never even asked her for it. She's nice to you if she likes you, wants something from you, and if it's convenient for her - but otherwise it's best to walk on eggshells around her. Even though she'll openly admit that she is a bitch with a sh*t eating grin, her self-awareness ends there. It's not like she's doing anything to ameliorate the fact that she's alienating people with her lack of maturity and decorum, so why do you even talk to her? 

Well... when some random basic shoves you to get to the bar during a girl's night out, she's the one to call her out. You feel awkward sending back your meal because the waiter neglected to inform the kitchen about your BS "gluten allergy," but she has no problem doing it (although you're going to have to coax her into giving him an adequate tip when the bill comes). She's your go-to girl for when you want to talk sh*t about people because you know she's not completely judging you for your scathing remarks (although you can't count on her for not weaponizing them against you later). While she doesn't know her place, she knows how to have your back. Well, when it's convenient for her to have your back. At this point, you also keep her around just so you can keep an eye on her since she knows way too much about the skeletons in your closet and can easily destroy your reputation with absolutely zero regard for your feelings. That counts as friendship, right?

[Photo via @kourtneykardash]

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