A Twitterific Breakdown Of NYC Prep From A REAL One, Ariel Moses: Round 3

by CARSON GRIFFITH · July 8, 2009

    NYC Prep, Episode 3: "What Happens In Mexico..."

    It's that time again folks! No, it's not just hump day, but it's time for Ariel Moses' Twitterific Breakdown of our favorite guilty pleasure, NYC Prep. Even though born and bred Upper East Sider Ariel Moses swore she would never watch the inane Bravo show NYC Prep, I somehow talked the Horace Mann and Columbia educated New Yorker into submitting herself to the incessant nonsense that is the Gossip Girl knock-off... 3 times now! Afterall, being a transplant, I could never fully understand what these kids are talking about (besides that they sound like absolute idiots...again... and again...and again). And what better way for Ariel to express her true feelings about the "real"ity show than on Twitter!

    Unfortunately, Ariel's tweets weren't continuous this time around, but not because she got so annoyed with the show she threw her television out her Upper East Side window (that was my first guess). This was the text I received last night:

    From: Ariel Moses

    Omg!!! Twitter just told me I tweeted too much this hour, I have to take a break... not a joke!!!!!!

    Received: Tue,  Jul 7 11:15 pm

    Who knew Twitter had a limit at how much you could tweet in an hour?! And THANK GOD for DVR because that's the only thing that permitted the tweeting to continue. So what did we learn this week? 1. Twitter has an hourly limit 2. The 16 year olds on NYC Prep are still self indulgent pricks.


    @arielilana and we begin with a recap of why sebastian keeps showing why he's gay #nycprep 23 minutes ago from web


    @arielilana "the upper east side is a bubble" #nycprep

    @arielilana this is the first time i've listening to the theme song- AWFUL #nycprep

    @arielilana "it's the holidays and no one from the upper east side stays in the city" ok... #nycprep

    @arielilana why is there an interrogation for PC? jessie- LAYOFF ..no really. #nycprep

    @arielilana college counselors AND college advisors.. #nycprep

    @arielilana Setai plug!!! #nycprep

    @arielilana Jessie went to find her "old" dog..she apparently is a dog lady..and her nanny takes care of them #nycprep

    @arielilana CAMILLE! how i have missed thee..getting 50% dark chocolate. #nycprep   

    @arielilana WAIT WAIT- camille is staying in the city?! i thought PC said that isn't allowed. #nycprep

    @arielilana taylor is confused because she is on the UES #nycprep

    @arielilana "i just always wanted to marry rich" taylor = power player #nycprep

    @arielilana oh camille is bad cause she won't find a guy?? she's the queen of the 3-way date! #nycprep

    @arielilana "i'm a very curious person"...and ugly #nycprep

    @arielilana camille got paid to do this. they wrote this script for the ugly girl, way to go- camille #nycprep

    @arielilana Westhamptooooon! and there is the loving mother..and random dad #nycprep

    @arielilana "sometimes when i'm around my parents, i forget who i'm talking to"..pardon? #nycprep

    @arielilana who picked this GD AWFUL WALLPAPER? WHO!?!? change the yellow madness! #nycprep

    @arielilana stop calling sebastian a surfer guy, you weirdo #nycprep

    @arielilana SEBASTIAN IS A STALKER. he just WALKED INTO her home. holy jesus 911 #nycprep

    @arielilana upper east side raaaaapissssst: part 2 #nycprep

    @arielilana sebastian playing with balls? crazy. #nycprep

    @arielilana sebastian = wearing dad's cashmere sweater. #nycprep

    @arielilana DOUBLE ENTENDRE alert!! "i have a feeling this game is going to go on for a long time" #nycprep

    @arielilana seb does coke. #nycprep

    @arielilana wait wait, is this your FRENCH teacher seb?! #nycprep

    @arielilana "Movies are for Jewish people on Christmas Day" WIN!!!! #nyc

    @arielilana i cannot even deal with this Cool Mom and her dog..her talking dog. #nycprep

    @arielilana theme of this show: old dogs #nycprep

    @arielilana her illness isn't what makes her cute, duh #nycprep

    @arielilana sorry still stuck on jews in the movies on dec. 25 #nycprep

    @arielilana ok stop flirting with jp, PC. #nycprep

    @arielilana mexicans in ny = delivery guys. #nycprep

    @arielilana the most beautiful mexican ever! #nycprep

    @arielilana Palm Beach? STFU ..rich people in Palm Beach..in daddy's car! #nycprep

    @arielilana what is that headband, fashion laydaaaay ? #nycprep

    @arielilana Kim is her PIC..get it PC? pIc.. #nycprep

    @arielilana jessie would NOT want to be in Cheers. #nycprep

    @arielilana jessie doesn't want to get dementia in college #nycprep

    @arielilana kim, you cannot have sexual tension with a gay guy. sorry. #nycprep

    @arielilana KIM CAN'T READ.. she can't "read into it" #nycprep

    @arielilana omg Cancun montage!! #nycprep

    @arielilana PC is red too- just throwing it out there #nycprep

    @arielilana Cancun? trashy? stop it..just stop. #nycprep

    @arielilana relax pc, relax..jump up and down and wave your hands..everyone's at The Breakers, anyway.. #nycprep

    @arielilana Jager Bombs! Jager Bombs! Jager Bombs! only NJ gets it.. #nycprep

    @arielilana ahh he has the rainbow sombrero..i wonder why.. #nycprep

    @arielilana you're not in Rome, you're in cancun, foo #nycprep

    @arielilana why is he slo-mo dancing? #nycprep

    @arielilana HAHAHAHAHHA FAT GIRL sorry that's all #nycprep

    @arielilana van cleef! don't taint them #nycprep

    @arielilana camille told you to see both guys? she doesn't have BOTH EYES. #nycprep

    @arielilana ok question- why does sebastian only play sports? #nycprep

    @arielilana her dogs died..yet again, solidifying the theme of the show- OLD DOGS. #nycprep

    @arielilana Seb is better for social status and his money. he's 12, it isn't his money tay tay! #nycprep

    @arielilana she's had 3 boyfriends and she's 14..what a ho #nycprep

    @arielilana seb she wants your money!!! #nycprep

    @arielilana wait- she wants your francs..you're french, right? #nycprep

    @arielilana Palm Beach 4eva..oh and calling PC. #nycprep

    @arielilana OH NO put the clothes BACK ON! sweet jesus... #nycprep

    @arielilana this is seriously the worst slow mo thing ever, get dressed jessi #nycprep

    @arielilana boyz on the beach..in trashy cancun..! #nycprep

    @arielilana don't think about New York! you've been waiting for this for so long! with your bromance! #nycprep

    @arielilana obviously i find JP attractive..damn it #nycprep

    @arielilana oh no..bikini-clad girls.. #nycprep

    @arielilana "he's bi..that's why he's asking" #nycprep

    @arielilana "let's get some ass, literally" #nycprep

    @arielilana next up: PC isn't going that out that hard #nycprep

    @arielilana ahh back in freezing cold Westhampton.. #nycprep

    @arielilana did she just call them the foragers and leaders of death in the family ? #nycprep

    @arielilana "i didn't want her to die"..so had you wanted her to die, would that make it ok? #nycprep

    @arielilana also, who is lily? #nycprep

    @arielilana omfg it's a dog. a messy dog. #nycprep

    @arielilana daddy and mommy and members of the household might want to say something #nycprep

    @arielilana look, we all have pets that have passed away in our backyard, build a bridge and get over it, kell-dog #nycprep

    @arielilana OMFG a professional stylist for camille..THERE IS A GD #nycprep

    @arielilana Camille gets NO MORE clothes if she doesn't hire a stylist to throw away old ones- toootally fair in this economy #nycprep

    @arielilana omg, get that pic on facebook! #nycprep

    @arielilana 90's vintage- holla! #nycprep

    @arielilana well camille, if you play with fire- you're gonna get told that you suck #nycprep

    @arielilana dvf..mom's vintage chanel jacket..my dignity.. #nycprep

    @arielilana ugliest. zebra. ever. poor zebra.. #nycprep

    @arielilana fighting with a stylist mommy got for you? check! #nycprep

    @arielilana can someone please call my parents and tell them that they owe me a stylist consultation..or at least that fight? #nycprep

    @arielilana i am just throwing it out there, my roommate does not believe this is a dog's funeral #nycprep

    @arielilana kelli won't speak..neither will i..cause you know what? this is emotional. #nycprep

    @arielilana my brother's comment: "who died? wait..a dog? WHAT!?" #nycprep

    @arielilana look, i love my dog, but come the hell on. #nycprep

    @arielilana bravo needs to kill someone on this show- the drama would be amazing #nycprep

    @arielilana BACK IN TRASHY CANCUN! #nycprep

    @arielilana pc..surfing..pc..blackberry in the pool! #nycprep

    @arielilana "you always call me when you land"..thaaaat's what she said #nycprep

    @arielilana HAHA he didn't say i love you back jessie- haaaaa funny #nycprep

    @arielilana we get it- you are friends with an ethnic mexican. #nycprep

    @arielilana belvedere..so not classy in mexico #nycprep

    @arielilana OMG random drink on the table he thought was jp's! #nycprep

    @arielilana omg, PC has AIDS. #nycprep

    @arielilana sexy girls drink vodka..i must be REALLY sexy #nycprep

    @arielilana you didn't ask them to leave, fool, you're being filmed- we know the truth!!! #nycprep

    @arielilana JP teach PC manners. sounds like a program for your computer. #nycprep

    @arielilana PC IS GOING TO GW NEXT YEAR..news from @jarretmoses..worthwhile gossip!!!.. #nycprep


    @arielilana kelly just put her gum under the Bravo sign #nycprep

    @arielilana Jessie is gonna gut PC like a fish..HAHAHAHAHHAAHA #nycprep

    @arielilana rolly backpacks!!! #nycprep

    @arielilana wait why isn't she wearing pants..or shoes..in the hallway? #nycprep

    @arielilana darryn is stoned. bye. #nycprep

    @arielilana Cole's been saying things..and he is from public school, which means he doesn't know how to speak..iiiineteresting #nycprep

    @arielilana cole?! knows about sebastian? #nycprep

    @arielilana "is this a gay pride bear?" you mean your symbol, pc? #nycprep

    @arielilana uninterested? NO SATs. disinterested. and no, it wasn't mellow- you're just a big one, jessie. #nycprep

    Are you a NYC Prep fan? We promise we won't poke fun. Afterall, we watch Real Housewives of New York (...and New Jersey). But if you want to follow Ariel's tweets in real time, you can follow her at @arielilana on Twitter, every Tuesday while she tweets away about the show. Not our fault if she starts a bit late though. Those damn New York girls and their DVRS!