NYC Is A Dating Mecca... But What About For Trans Women?

It's often remarked that dating in New York City feels like a spectator sport - especially if you date men. We all know the different "teams" of bros: the finance/real estate bros, the LES young creatives, the gym guys, the Brooklyn artists. The list goes on and on (enough to make your head spin). You can probably find just about any of these types with a swipe on a dating app, but what if you're a girl of the trans identity?

More and more I have these conversations with my doll friends (a doll is slang for transgender women) about where to meet men in person. It’s a fair question being that summer is here and let’s face it, many of us have fatigue from app dating post-pandemic. We as trans women have more visibility now than ever before, and while we've still got a far way to go in terms of representation, everyone knows we’re here, we’re queer, and we’re dating!

I’ve been told several times that trans women feel a level of discomfort and even fear when it comes to going to predominantly cishet (cisgender and heterosexual) spaces like clubs, bars and local New York neighborhood haunts. A genuine fear that everyone has of course is rejection - no one gets excited about the prospect of rejection. But secondly, there is a very real fear of a nasty response or even violence. There are already societal pressures at play like what you do for work (a cringey yet almost unavoidable question in any metropolitan social situation) or levels of self-confidence to consider when trying to meet people IRL. Add in the challenges of dating as a trans woman and it's understandably nerve-wracking. 

So, from one doll to others, I've rounded up some of my go-to dating tips along with some well considered watering holes to meet your next fling (and hopefully a few after that).