Because there's truly nothing better to do these days (and, let's admit it, there's just something about a global crisis that makes everyone desperate for companionship), you've probably dusted off the ol' dating app to amuse yourself between team Zoom meetings and binge-drinking. And by dating app we obviously mean Raya - not even the apocalypse would have you open up Tinder, or god forbid, The League. Forgotten what you're in for? Allow our favorite anonymous Instagram poet, Soho House Cesspool, to be your guide.

Soho House Cesspool is a modern-day anthropologist (and occasional poet), observing and judging your every move from the banquets at Socialista on West Broadway, to a lounger at Chateau Marmont – they’re always watching – and also probably asking you if you have any acid.