The Fitness Influencer
Examples: Just open up Instagram, okay?
Where are they? Everywhere, but with the highest concentrations in SoHo, Miami, or their parent’s houses in Indiana
Are they adhering to their quarantine? No – while buying all the toilet paper at a CVS, they literally hugged the cashier on their Instagram story to show “empathy for their work” - horrific
What are they eating? Heart of Palm pasta and laxatives
What will you talk about? This may come as a shock, but they’ve actually been working out a lot right now. And there’s another surprise, they want you to join on a sunrise kundalini yoga and core burnout – it starts at 5AM and ends at noon, LOL JUST COME IT FEELS GREAT! After that there will be a gratitude circle where they will “use their reiki lessons to alleviate any lingering viruses”
Fun Fact About Them: They voted for Trump
COVID-19 Status: Doesn’t matter, just stay away regardless
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