[Royal Ascot. All photos by Getty] We got a taste of how the Brits do sports last month, when Prince Harry played a polo match on Governor's Island. We spill beer, they spill champagne. We use legs, they use horses. We accessorize with foam fingers, they accessorize with hats...lots and lots of hats. By far the most elegant sporting event in the world is The Royal Ascot, which was held today, attended of course by the Royal Family. If you thought our Yacht Rock party was hard to get into, try getting into the Royal Enclosure at Ascot. To be admitted, you must be invited by a member (ehem, a Royal), and abide by a very strict dress code. Men must wear top hats and morning suits, and women must wear hats. And wear hats, they did...
The Queen's polka dot hat is relatively demure, compared to what the other ladies were wearing...
Case In Point, Princess Eugenie.
Florence Claridge, sporting what looks like a giant wood shaving
Jasmine Guinness may have been spending too much time in the family brewery when she came up with this idea.
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore!".........shall a hat this monstrous be worn in public.
She got paid, right? There's no way someone would wear a Cadbury Flake Cone on their head voluntarily.......right?
She's like an unfortunate cross between Eliza Doolittle and Pippi Longstocking.
Is that even a hat? Or an overly decorated neck brace?
This jockey is almost as gravity-defying as the hats!