The Five Stages Of Grief, As Tweeted By Tila Tequila

by BILLY GRAY · January 5, 2010

    Tila TequilaThe Times ran Tila Tequila's tweeted send-off to fiancée Casey Johnson in its coverage of Johnson's death. And when the the Grey Lady counts Twitter eulogies among the news that's fit to print, they're legit. And for good reason! Tila's mini-obits (seven so far!) conform to universal grief patterns, even the Kübler-Ross model!

    Here is proof that Tila has undergone the cycle in record time. [sic] ad nauseum, naturally.

    Denial: "I just got news that my fiance is not dead but currently in a coma!!! Omg please pray that she will make it! Hang in there my love please!!!"

    Anger: "I will be offline to be w family"

    Bargaining: "I know u can feel me Casey! Dot let go! I'm almost home baby please hang on! We have a beautiful life planned out for us! I LOVE u! Hang on!"

    Depression: "I'm heart is shredded"

    Acceptance: "R.I.P my Angel. @caseyjonsonJnJ u will forever be in my heart! I love u so so much and we will Marry when I see U in Heaven my Wifey"

    Given their relatability, it's high time people stop moaning about the cheesy, disposable, insincere, attention-seeking and typo-prone nature of Tweeted declarations of loss.

    Besides, given some of Ms. Tequila's earlier tweets ("my "HUGE SECRET" is that my titties will quadrouple in size in 2010! Like super duper duper big titties! So big that I can titty slap u! lol"), even feigned pleas for privacy and introspection might be a good thing.

    [Click Here To Remember Casey Johnson Through Photos]