Hamptons Summer On A Budget: The Guest's Guide To Being A Guest

State the obvious: escaping to the Hamptons every weekend is a luxury that not everyone can afford. This is an essential part of its appeal and, as bloggers, that "not everyone" includes us. Yet here we are! How, you ask?  Well, as our name would suggest, by being guests.  Good guests.We also took expenses-paid jobs. But if you're just a regular old analyst lacking in the wit and wisdom necessary to write for GofG, all is not lost.

We assume you know at least one rich person who can afford to rent (or own) their own Hamptons estate, and this person is your ticket to summer bliss. So when you receive the weekend invite, take it! But remember, as little Christine's modeling coach on Real Housewives of New Jersey so wisely states: it's not about being booked, it's about being re-booked. Or in this case, invited back. Here's how to ensure that happens.

Guest of a Guest's 8 Simple Rules For Being a Courteous Weekend Guest

1. Adjust your plans to fit their schedules.

For example, if your host offers to drive you up at 3pm on Friday, do not respond "um, well I was actually really looking forward to checking out the Kenmare Friday night so I think I'm just gonna take the Jitney Saturday at like 1 or, ya know, whenever I feel like it, and then you can just pick me up at the bus stop whenever, sound good??" It never sounds good.

2. For God's sake bring a gift.

Even if it's a $12 bottle of wine that you intend to drink more than half of on your own - and even if your host is your twin-brother - do not show up empty handed.

3. On the ride up: don't complain about and/or change the music.

You can deal with three hours of Billy Joel for three days of sun, beach and fresh air. Let it be.

4. Absolutely do not bitch about the house.

This includes location, state of the house and all items within, including but not limited to shower pressure, mattress and pillow comfort, room size, other guests, family members etc. Again, not even your twin brother wants to hear this.

5. Offer to help in the kitchen

Or, if you know your aid in that department will be more of a burden than blessing, offer to set the table and clean up. Do not disappear whenever dinner-time nears, only to emerge an hour later freshly showered, changed and made up as your host sweats and panics behind the stove. You may think you are being sly, but you are not. People notice.

6. Don't be a diva

Eat what your host serves you and, if everyone is hanging out in the living room or on the deck, join them. Contribute to the conversation, go on the bike ride they suggest. No one likes the guest who sulks in their room with their Blackberry all weekend.

7. Don't even ask if you can bring your animal.

Unless you are absolutely one-hundred percent positive that your host is a die-hard cat lady and cannot stand to be apart from his or her own pet for more than five minutes either. If this is indeed the case and you choose to bring Fifi along, pick up after and supervise it properly.

8. Write a thank you note within the week.

Always, always, always say thank you.

For other helpful tips on being invited back to the Hamptons this summer (like not picking your feet) check out publicist Susan Blond's video guide on Dan's Hamptons.

Related: [How to get invited back]

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