Never sweat
You're a fixture at every it girl workout class because you have so much time on your hands since you don't have a real job, but you shouldn't be able to remember the last time you got a pit stain. You must be perpetually bronzed from being out in the sun, but you should never be afflicted with a major case of swamp butt. Even if you're in your personal infrared sauna, you are never allowed to sweat. Everything you own must be made of moisture wick material. And don't just Botox your armpits - Botox your entire body!
[Photo via @hannahbronfman]