What Your Go-To Trendy Workout Class Says About You

You're game to throw down $3000 a month for a Williamsburg apartment, yet you're too good to donate money for a yoga class. You credit your catlike reflexes to your free yoga classes, when really they're from being all-too-quick to point out political incorrectness and "ignorance" before your peers even finish articulating their thoughts. We get the impression that you wait with baited breath for natural disasters or national calamities to occur just so you can quote John Lennon or the Dalai Lama so you can show off how deep you are. You don't do this on social media, obviously, because you don't have it. 

You refuse to use social media because you think that it's a platform for people to get up on their soapbox to show off how great they think they are and shove their contrived personas down people's throats. How do we know this? Because you will get up on your soapbox to shove your contrived persona down people's throats and show off how great you think you are for NOT having social media whenever there's the slightest lull in a conversation. Ironic, right? Okay, well, did this awakening not occur to you during your morning transcendental meditation? Wow, for someone who has such a panoramic worldview and is enlightened enough to criticize our capitalist, phallocentric society that is obsessed with superficiality and conspicuous consumption, you're not very self aware. 

OH and your "Feel the Bern" t-shirt was made in a sweatshop that employs children!

[Photo via @yogatothepeople]