How To Pretend To Be A Rich A**hole

Your favorite color? Oxblood, not red. You weren't just at someone's house the other day, you were at their estate. Your sense of humor? Just rip off jokes from White Girl Problems. If a friend comes to you with a problem, just dismiss her by mitigating her issues and tell her you honestly cannot be bothered by it. No, seriously, make her feel like the shit that you are so full of if her setbacks somehow don't pertain to your extravagant lifestyle.  Repeat after me: never EVER miss an opportunity to sound like a rich asshole. Why have a conversation of substance when you can hijack it and make it about how loaded you are? Don't stop there: make your social media solely about your extravagant purchases, hanging with the creme de la creme, and your luxe lifestyle. Who cares if you sound like a douche when you namedrop? Who cares if you're probably definitely lying about how lavish and chic your lifestyle really is? Who cares if those people you hang around probably aren't your real friends? Just as long as people think you're rich, you're golden. By golden, I mean pyrite, not 14k gold, but you get the picture.