The Worst Husbands In High Society History

While Michael Lucarelli's white collar crimes aren't exactly discernible from the ones you read about in the Wall Street Journal or New York Times, the way he conducted himself throughout his entire scandal surely was. 

First off, after they arrested him, he ran out of his shoes when attempting to dash away from photographers. Perfect example about why his lack of stealth is why he got arrested in the first place. He also tested positive for cocaine, but said it was permissible because he can't drink coffee due to his IBS. Or, you know, you can just say on the stand, "I do cocaine because obviously I do, I work on fucking Wall Street, duh!" He then said he was totally in the right for embezzling money because his company stole his commissions for years, so he technically deserved all the dough  (which was upwards of $1,000,000). And let's not forget that he also used his much younger wife leaving him as an excuse for why he was so down and out. Why did she leave such a prize, you ask? He's impotent. :(

The judge ruled that he would get jail time for his offenses, and he stated that Lucarelli probably would not have gotten jail time if he just took ownership for what he did instead of coming up with a litany of excuses. But all we see here is a guy being a typical guy and not owning up to his shit.

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