Douchebags By NYC Neighborhood: A Guide

by BILLY GRAY · November 3, 2009

    Everyone loves to hate douchebags. This handy guide on the left of d-bags by region in the U.S. gave us the motivation to create our own guide of d-bags by region in NYC. New Yorkers, in particular, get off on mocking tourists, weekend warriors and other interlopers too uncool to pass for legit city folk. But those who live in glass condos shouldn't throw stones.


    We won't generalize to the point of fully condemning an entire New York 'hood. But we will go all Rorshach test on this trio of youthful, nightlife-heavy neighborhoods equally beloved and despised by their residents and those who would agree to gypsy cab extortion to avoid setting foot in them:



    It's not completely overrun by buffoonish suburbanites each Friday and Saturday night.

    The waterfront is sick, with some of the best skyline views in the city.

    Everyone seems young, thin and pretty.

    Arguably the best live music scene in NYC, including a recent history of free summer shows.


    It's overrun by well-off suburbanites funded by The Bank of Mom and Dad while "keeping it real".

    The waterfront is now ground zero for luxury condo eyesores that house them.

    Everyone is younger, thinner and prettier than you.

    Recent history of lines for free summer shows.

    Murray Hill:


    It's central

    It's (relatively) cheap

    It's got the Morgan Library

    It's such a tired punching bag that people no longer bother making fun of its dull bars, stripe-shirted guys, Juicy Couture-encased ladies and the innumerable Tasti-D-Lites where they congregate


    Dull bars

    Stripe-shirted guys

    Juicy Couture-encased ladies


    East Village:


    Chockablock with cheap ethnic restaurants and cheaper quirky bars.

    History as incubator of radical music, art, literature, theater.

    Constant, free entertainment (of the musical, human and canine varieties) in Tompkins Square Park.

    St. Mark's between A and 2nd.


    Dodging puddles of vomit in front of cheap restaurants and cheaper bars every Saturday and Sunday morning.

    Daniel Boulud, John Varvatos acknowledge East Village's radical history while raping it.

    Sporadic free muggings in Tompkins Square Park.

    St. Mark's between 2nd and 3rd (excluding Grassroots).