A Twitterific Breakdown Of NYC Prep From A Real One, Ariel Moses: Round 7

NYC Prep, Episode 7: "Ivy League Of Their Own"

Promptly after watching last night's episode, I picked up my phone and called my brother at Harvard and told him to head for the hills: If girls like Kelly and Camille are creeping on his campus, he better be on guard at all times. Then I realized even more concerning than these high school girls were the D-bags they were talking to, and their wretched tour guide. Good job, Harvard. Great advertising.

But wait, shouldn't I be warning future Occidental students who might be stuck with PC and his scarf? Nah. We know PC doesn't end up there. He ends up in the Dune parking lot with Barron Hilton. Just about every weekend. Hi Barron!

So how do I know all about where the NYC Prep kids like PC and Kelly hang in their free time? Because besides my own sporadic run-ins, Ariel Moses has her fingers on the pulse of where these underage kids hang out. They are popping up all over the city and the Hamptons, and so is she. And even though born and bred Upper East Sider Ariel Moses swore she would never watch the inane Bravo show NYC Prep, I somehow talked the Horace Mann and Columbia educated New Yorker into submitting herself to the incessant nonsense that is theGossip Girl knock-off for the entire series so far. Afterall, being a transplant, I could never fully understand what these kids are talking about (besides that they sound like absolute idiots). And what better way for Ariel to express her true feelings about the “real”

ity show than on Twitter! Enjoy the latest fixture - and remember, these kids will be heading off to college soon. A whole new world for them to infest!

@arielilana it's that time..TWEET #nycprep tiiiiiime!
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana i'm not tweeting about the previews from the passed weeks for my own reasons..sanity reasons #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana i just noticed the "plaid" motif in #nycprep beginning. classy!
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana OMG camille you look..even worse..somehow in this light?! #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana camille like avante garde! and then seb touched it! not camille- the art- thank gd. #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana CAMILLE-WASH. YOUR. HAIR. #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana omg - camille is out on a pretend 3-way date giving dating advice about people who aren't dating #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana "i don't think i should listen to camille on that, cause she's not exactly the pro on dating" - SEB WINS!!!! #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana seb called camille a lezbo..but a smart one? #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana "my math book has like 60 pages, not 50"...that's what she said? #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana camille's eyebrows are 2 different lengths. also- defensive much? #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana ok offend the one guy who talks to you. and now he's asking you about dates. SWEET #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana seb can't know who you are cause a) his hair b) he's been dumped twice c) you're there, camille #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana ahhh jessie's in my mom's house! #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana LAMPTONS!!!! @blueandcream #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana wait- last week Devorah was 20something, now jessie called her 30something..it's been a week or 10 years? #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana "i don't care how faaaabulous you are! no!" no one cares about you, jess #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana "you can't change people they have to do it themselves"...also a good line when you work in an old age home #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana lexapro shout out! holla! #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana he isn't failing, jessie, his grades are good- remember? #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana 7th grade? you mean last year?! #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana "i want a nAtical theme pashmina afghan!" camille- ain't how you be pronouncin' it, yo #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana dear harvard- RUN!!!! love, ariel #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana here's the thing about harvard camille..they won't want you after they see you here #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana so now camille thinks she is a college advisor #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana dear pc, jessie in love with you..#nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana who cares about his grades? why does this rando chick care? and yes- he's pete peterson's grandson! #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana occidental! miles sherman- read this now! #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana no, jessie said 7th grade. saving his tushy since 7th grade- rando girl-not 6th. #nycprep
about 1 hour ago from web

@arielilana i really like pc in the raybans..@rayban - model? #nycprep
43 minutes ago from web

@arielilana next up: taylor randomly gets put into the show. #nycprep
43 minutes ago from web

@arielilana look at seb's hair in the wind! #nycprep
42 minutes ago from web

@arielilana PRANNA! my best friend had her bday there this passed fall.. coincidence? i think not! #nycprep
41 minutes ago from web

@arielilana seb has a big tuchus #nycprep
41 minutes ago from web

@arielilana uggggggs #nycprep
40 minutes ago from web

@arielilana taylor shouldn't wear headbands. you are vanessa, not blair..remember? #nycprep
40 minutes ago from web

@arielilana denise richards is gonna be on the show? sweet. #nycprep
39 minutes ago from web

@arielilana pranna..right next door to the Avenue offices..serving underage drinkers. good thing we didn't do their PR! #nycprep
39 minutes ago from web

@arielilana love the scarf, pc! hate the faux-jacket, tay #nycprep
38 minutes ago from web

@arielilana why is camille always there? really..why? #nycprep
38 minutes ago from web

@arielilana pc is bringin' it to co-ooooole #nycprep
38 minutes ago from web

@arielilana pc can hear you- good job. #nycprep
37 minutes ago from web

@arielilana pc is comfy with his sexuality #nycprep
37 minutes ago from web

@arielilana speaking of gay..sebastian! #nycprep
37 minutes ago from web

@arielilana kelly- don't fall for it! #nycprep
37 minutes ago from web

@arielilana what is wrong with cole? really what? #nycprep
36 minutes ago from web

@arielilana so far cole has come from narnia, yelled at pc for being bi-sexuality, and then confronted hair-dude #nycprep
36 minutes ago from web

@arielilana taylor's hair line is weird, no? #nycprep
35 minutes ago from web

@arielilana cole's ex gf! way to goooo bravooooo #nycprep
35 minutes ago from web

@arielilana i am so happy it's deniz not denise. #nycprep
35 minutes ago from web

@arielilana "first cole makes me talk to sebastian (aka dorrian's next date rapist) and then goes and talks to his ex-girlfriend" #nycprep
34 minutes ago from web

@arielilana cole is WASTED!!!! #nycprep
34 minutes ago from web

@arielilana really, cole didn't get picked for this show, and now he is drunk and listening to producers #nycprep
34 minutes ago from web

@arielilana taylor- hit him. hit him now, good woman #nycprep
34 minutes ago from web

@arielilana no one wants to be your friend, coleypoo #nycprep
33 minutes ago from web

@arielilana next up: camille "probably won't" get into harvard #nycprep
33 minutes ago from web

@arielilana tatianaaaaaaa #nycprep
32 minutes ago from web

@arielilana who would voluntarily talk to jessie? #nycprep
31 minutes ago from web

@arielilana no one wants you to talk anywhere, jessie #nycprep
31 minutes ago from web

@arielilana jessie thinks she is op smile- do you not get this? #nycprep
31 minutes ago from web

@arielilana HAHAHAHAHAHA call jessie out on her ridiculousness with charity. philanthropy fool-philanthropy. no jessieopy. (bad one, ariel) #nycprep
30 minutes ago from web

@arielilana ivy leagues are the best!? i feel so awesome now, camille! #nycprep
30 minutes ago from web

@arielilana a russian lit major! always a #fail #nycprep
29 minutes ago from web

@arielilana why is camille the mom on this show? #nycprep
29 minutes ago from web

@arielilana 9%...and camille is going to turn everyone into clay! #nycprep
28 minutes ago from web

@arielilana this was not like my tour of harvard. mostly cause i wasn't wearing heels..my mom was there, & my tour guide didn't have fried hair #nycprep
27 minutes ago from web

@arielilana guy with a backpack saves the day! #nycprep
27 minutes ago from web

@arielilana ahh more college dudes waiting to be on #nycprep
26 minutes ago from web

@arielilana is that @justinrosslee? cause it sounds & acts like him #nycprep
26 minutes ago from web

@arielilana dylan's! praise the lord there is some goodness in this show #nycprep
26 minutes ago from web

@arielilana "you look like you work here" WIN! #nycprep
26 minutes ago from web

@arielilana pc loves pez!! and taylor has 50 pez dispensers in her room! #nycprep
25 minutes ago from web

@arielilana project?! PROJECT?!?!?! #nycprep
25 minutes ago from web

@arielilana pc- put one on! they're caaaaandy #nycprep
25 minutes ago from web

@arielilana "is cole sanitary?" the question we were all wondering..#nycprep
25 minutes ago from web

@arielilana pc vs. cole round 4000000 #nycprep
24 minutes ago from web

@arielilana taylor calls pc. pc has been around the block. by the transitive property- taylor has been around the block #nycprep
24 minutes ago from web

@arielilana camille-once again the bearer of random ass news #nycprep
23 minutes ago from web

@arielilana camille- GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY #nycprep
23 minutes ago from web

@arielilana camille needs to stop thinking about all of this nonsense. she's not smart or witty or worthwhile #nycprep
22 minutes ago from web

@arielilana next up: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS #nycprep
22 minutes ago from web

@arielilana lauren has jewelry..and jessie is picking who wears what. faaaab #nycprep
19 minutes ago from web

@arielilana what is jessie wearing?!?!? #nycprep
18 minutes ago from web

@arielilana she got into FIT. fab. great. let's all applaud. #nycprep
17 minutes ago from web

@arielilana again- shopping with pc sounds so fun. not a joke, i really wanna #nycprep
17 minutes ago from web

@arielilana "are you gay?" #nycprep
17 minutes ago from web

@arielilana "you aren't jesus! you should focus on yourself" #nycprep
16 minutes ago from web

@arielilana wait - pc isn't jesus? and now he isn't trying to corrupt her. i am SO confused by religion on this show #nycprep
16 minutes ago from web

@arielilana IT ISN'T YOUR BENEFIT- IT ISN'T YOUR CHARITY. sweet jesus #nycprep
15 minutes ago from web

@arielilana wait PC is gonna hit Jessie with a water bottle...AGAIN!!! #nycprep
15 minutes ago from web

@arielilana cole, why are you on the show? #nycprep
14 minutes ago from web

@arielilana Thompson Hoteeeeel! #nycprep
13 minutes ago from web

@arielilana penthouse + thompson hotel + no jessie = awesome #nycprep
12 minutes ago from web

@arielilana i thought it was jessie or taylor..BUT IT WAS CAMILLE! #nycprep
12 minutes ago from web

@arielilana ahhh the seb doppelganger #nycprep
11 minutes ago from web

@arielilana my brother confirms, they are all hammered. i concur. #nycprep
11 minutes ago from web

@arielilana hahaha cole = one more thing #nycprep
10 minutes ago from web

@arielilana cole you are gonna get slapped #nycprep
10 minutes ago from web

@arielilana cole is breakin' it down. and he is now acting like a giant vagina. #nycprep
10 minutes ago from web

@arielilana omfg taylor- hit him #nycprep
8 minutes ago from web

@arielilana yes, you are broken up. now leave us be, coley #nycprep
6 minutes ago from web

@arielilana no labels- totes vintage steez #nycprep
6 minutes ago from web

@arielilana next!: jessie mass murders everyone without babysitting camille, kelly almost punches sebhairdude, op smile happens, jessie FALLS #nycprep
4 minutes ago from web

Maybe the writers have decided it would just be easier for the kids to have a theme for each episode - last week it was The Informers, this week Cruel Intentions. Wasn't it a bit creepy to anyone else how PC kept calling Taylor his little project? Maybe I'm reading a bit too much into things. Maybe next week they'll be having the public school kids ride in back of the bus only. And maybe next week PC will answer Jessie's "Are you gay?" question. But that's about as likely as her eyes uncrossing.