A.K.A. Episode 69, and boy did it live up to its name (well for some people in Winterfell). As the army of the dead close in, all of our favorite characters caught up to relive some memories, share heartwarming moments, look at each other longingly, and, obviously, get drunk before the big battle ahead. Everything was almost too perfect, so we all know half these people are going to die next week. So it goes. But for now, let's appreciate the good times - and that totally, 100% uplifting and not at all foreboding new song by Florence Welch. Here are some of my real-time thoughts on everything that went down.
1. OK, unrelated but since HBO forced it upon us, FINE, I will watch Big Little Lies eventually.
2. Welp. Bedtime stories in the Targaryen household do not sound pleasant.
3. Does everyone reaaally have to keep bringing up the one hand thing??
4. Dany as shocked by Sansa agreeing with her as we are, lmao.
5. "The things we do for love." OH SNAP.
5. a) Side note: good to see Bran back in the house.
6. YAS Brienne defend yo man!
7. Is it me or has Daenerys gotten 10 times bitchier lately?
8. LOL @ Jon peacing out real quick after siding with Sansa on this one.
9. Honestly her obsession with the "Iron Throne" is getting so old. Literally no one cares at this point.
10. Can someone get a slightly deeper V-neck on Gendry please??? Need more sweaty, dirty pecs. HELLO, COSTUME DESIGNER?!?
11. Arya DID NOT just do a one-eyebrow raise!! I'm shook!
12. Not cool shaming someone on their limited vocabulary, girl
13. Perfect flirting method, Arya. 10/10
13. a) I mean it's like the Westerosi equivalent of a hot girl being really good at darts in a dive bar, no? Dudes love that shit.
Gendry looking at Arya throw the knives.#GameofThrones#DemThrones pic.twitter.com/2C5ydRl4rY
— Denizcan James (@MrFilmkritik) April 22, 2019
15. Just wondering how DOES Bran get around these days? Like what does the poor person who's responsible for him think every time he's like "Bring me to the tree. You know the one."?
16. "How do you know there is an afterwards?" Ugh, always such a downer, this kid.
17. I'm desensitized to it now but isn't it awkward for two brothers to openly discuss how one of them got their sister pregnant...again...?
18. "You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway." That is some SHADE, Tyrion.
19. Uh oh, what is Jaime looking at???
20. Oh it's just BRIENNE OF MOTHERFUCKIN' TARTH.
21. Aww look at Podrick being such a badass!
22. Jaime: I want to fight under you
Brienne: *Read at 9:52*
23. Oh, Dany definitely thought that was Jon walking into her room. The disappointment in her face when she heard Jorah's voice. Sigh.
24. Suuure Jorah. Naming Tyrion her hand is what broke your heart...
25. Digging Sansa's new dominatrix chic wardrobe. Who's making all these leather bustiers for her?
26. "You never should have either." CLAP THE F BACK, YES GIRL.
27. Dany is so fake I cannot. Really hating her this season.
28. "sOmEoNe TaLLeR." Ugh, shut up.
Dany: I take the Iron Throne
Sansa: What about the North?
— King Mark Lannister (@mark_jayson13) April 22, 2019
30. THAT HUG. We are shipping Sansa and Theon now, yes? If only he still had a you-know-what.
31. Notttt another little Lady Mormont!! Omg, my heart.
32. The boys are back in town!
Tormund greeting Jon like #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/8JJ9c0NfoO
— Jillybean (@JillybeanButtle) April 22, 2019
34. BEFORE THE SUN COMES UPPPPP??????
35. Being called a "big woman" can only be a compliment coming from Tormund.
36. Thanks for that philosophizing, Sam, but you literally just repeated what Bran said in MORE words.
36. a) Sooo Bran and The Night King have a little Harry Potter-Voldemort situation going on, I see.
37. Arya is verrry interested in the dragons. Hmm...
38. These racist ass kids.
39. Grey Worm and Missandei <3333 Purest couple on this whole god forsaken show, but since he's making plans for the future...he's dead for sure.
40. "You should go to the crypt" is like THE biggest insult right now.
41. LOL it really didn't take long for Tyrion to get bored of Bran's story, I guess.
42. Oh, let the guy drink, Brienne.
43. If only every bartender in New York had a pour as heavy as Tyrion's.
44. LIVING for this Brienne love triangle.
45. Tormund's giant story: WEIRDEST FLEX BUT OK.
Tormund: tells story about how he killed a giant and pretended to be the widow’s baby #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/wXpH2V3mDw
— Kathy Le (@kath_aye) April 22, 2019
46. Ohhh look who cleaned himself up to give Arya her weapon.
47. ARYA. ARYA. WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT!!
48. Oh she is taking off her gloves. Shit is about to go down!!!!!
49. LMAO "So were you texting other bitches YES OR NO?"
50. YESSSSSSSSSS ARYAAAAAAAAAA YESSSSSSSSSSS GET IT GIRLLLLLLLLL
51. THIS IS STILL WEIRD BECAUSE ISN'T SHE LIKE 12 BUT WHATEVERRRRRRRR
52. Live footage of me:
53. OK, calm down everyone. While I would argue Arya became a grown ass woman the first time she successfully executed one of her murder plots, HBO cleared up her age with this very strategic Tweet. She's 18 and can do what sheee waaaantsss.
54. K, back to the fireplace club.
55. "Fuck tradition." - Tormund, killer of giants, feminist icon!
56. Lol Podrick calling Brienne out with his eyes.
57. "I'd knight you 10 times over." WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
58. AWP JAIME'S BOUT TO DO IT. HE'S GONNA DO IT.
59. I AM SOBBING. BACK TO LIVE FOOTAGE OF ME:
60. The eye contact though!! JAIME LOVES HER!!!
61. SER BRIENNE OF MOTHERFUCKIN' TARTH.
62. I feel like this is the closest they're going to get to hooking up. :(
63. TORMUND IS SO PROUD THO.
64. THAT SMILE!!! OH NO BRIENNE IS DEFINITELY DYING NEXT WEEK.
65. Oh Jorah, you did NOT just tell my girl to hide in the crypts!!! Also, wow, just realized they're related.
66. AWWW SAMWELL. NOT THE SWORD!!!
67. Damn, Podrick. Maybe he got singing lessons from Ed Sheeran last season?
68. But who in Westeros is named something as normal as Jenny?
69. AH THAT GAZE BETWEEN THEON AND SANSAAAA.
70. Oh no, Winterfell's version of Carpool Karaoke is not fun.
71. I know that face, Arya. The dick was trash.
72. UGH THIS IS THE NEW "RAINS OF CASTAMERE." I'M GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS WHILE ALL MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS DIE.
73. Uh oh, Dany's about to confront Jon like why have you been avoiding me/my bed???
74. Dany: *finds out she's been sleeping with her nephew*
"BUT...BUT THE IRON THRONE..."
75. Oh my goddd JON DOESN'T EVEN WANT IT!
Jon: my real name is Aegon Targaryen
— alondra™️ (@heeyvesoul) April 22, 2019
77. *Poltergeist voice* They'reee heeeere.
78. OH GOD FLORENCE SINGING IT!!! Everyone is about to die, guys. I hate this show.
79. I'll be listening to this song on repeat until next Sunday. See ya then!