The FiDi Finance Bro
Examples: Graduates of Babson, Your Brother-in-law (they’re all the same)
Where they are: New York by Ghery or Brookfield Place
Are they adhering to their quarantine? Absolutely not – his managing director would never allow it
What are they eating? Adderall XR and Daily Harvest
What you will talk about: Sorry, but you won’t really enjoy speaking to him that much. However, he’s still cute, and once all this gets sorted out you will probably just end up marrying one of him. Not ideal, but at least he will pay for the membership at the Maidstone and look the other way when you make out with your gay friend while mixing Xanax and Sancerre. He’s mostly going to be panicking about the crumbling of our economy and his parents with Lyme in Connecticut, but you offer him solace with a few tasteful boob pics and witty banter.
Fun Fact About Them: They have a gambling addiction, but you won’t find out for another 10 years!
COVID-19 Status: Without a shade of doubt, absolutely infected.
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