This Week's Top TV Moments: An Illustrated Guide

Crushable and Guest of a Guest have teamed up to bring you a post which combines our favorite things: television, and party pictures.  We mash up Guest of A Guest party pics with the best lines from your favorite TV shows, and voila! Awesomeness.-

This week...

On Real Housewives of New Jersey:

The Housewives headed to Venice, where they made plenty of time for sight-seeing, eating, and shopping:

Teresa: "Let's go to Chanel first!" Joe: Let's go eat. Fuhgeddabout Chanel's." Teresa: "Whaaa?? On the way, Joe, you could get something ta eat. Were gonna go shopping for a little bit."

Kim G throws herself a little pity party about the Danielle situation.

Kim G: "I feel bad for me, that I'm like, in this situation in the middle."

And Joe starts to lose control...

Joe: "I'm like King Kong. I might just start going crazy."

On The Bachelor Pad:

What do you get when you take the most memorable rejects from past seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette? Mayhem.

Contestant Juan Barbieri: "It's kind of hard to concentrate because everywhere I look, I just see swimsuit models in the weirdest poses-contorted. It was awesome. I'm not gonna lie. It was awesome."

On The Jersey Shore:

Vinny shows us his classier side. (Classy is a relative term.)

Vinny: "My uncles want me to come here and just bang everything, but I kinda want better, quality girls."

And Snooki can finally stop Snookin' for love.

Snooki: "I found an amazing gorilla juice head."

...Unless she's drunk.

Snooki: "I really don't want to cheat. But if you're gonna hand me a bottle of frickin'SoCo, something just comes over me. Like I just go crazy."

On Shaq Vs.

Shaquille O'Neal explains the concept of his new show, in which he takes on various top athletes and performers in order to raise money for charity.

Shaq: "Justin Bieber, I will outsing and outdance you."

On Project Runway:

Mckell Maddox got eliminated after her "trainwreck of a dress" proved to be a little too revealing.

Michael Kors: "Side cleavage is a rare thrilling moment for anyone."

On Mad Men:

We finally got to see a different side of uptight Brit Lane Pryce, and one of the shows funniest moments came when he accidentally sent Joan Holloway a note meant for his austere wife.

Lane's note to Joan: "Darling, I've been an ass. Kisses, Lane."

On The Rachel Zoe Project:

Brad relishes in his new position at the company, sans Taylor.

Brad: "I feel sexier without her. I feel like I burned my bra."

And Rachel gets fed up with husband Rodger's new football loving, beer guzzling, manly man schtick.

Rachel: "Babe, I'm so over your heterosexuality and this whole man thing you're trying to do now."

Rodger, as usual, starts to feel neglected when Rachel goes on full Golden Globe-prep mode, and petulantly accuses Rachel of not loving him.

Rachel: "In like two more days I'll love you more."

On Pretty Little Liars:

This week, Toby opened up about his past...

Toby: "I spent a year in reform school. I've got friends in all the wrong places, and misery loves company."

And Hanna has an important question.

Hanna: I need to ask you guys something, and be totally honest with me: Is one side of my face fatter than the other?