Dear Real Housewives of D.C., Episode 3

by MADELEINE STARKEY · August 20, 2010

    We know race can be a contentious issue.  Truly, some of the greatest conflicts of the modern age have revolved around race.  Luckily for the Real Housewives of D.C., its cast members' racial tensions are quite vapid.  But what was truly important in this week's episode were butterscotch onsies, party fouls, and sexting.

    Housewives, we have a few things to discuss witchya:

    Dear Michaele,

    We understand you're in Paris and when in Paris one is inspired to dress super chic and be as stylish as possible.  However, a butterscotch leather onesie does not a chic femme make.  We don't care where you got that horrible ensemble (is it a jumpsuit, a onesie?) and whether or not it's made by someone we should care about.  We do care that you had the ill sense to wear it.  On television.  Without your face covered.

    Dear Michaele and Tareq,

    We're not sure what your arrangement was with Paul Wharton vis-à-vis the bill for his birthday party you hosted.  However, we are sure that the proper way to address such uncomfortable issues is to discuss them before the party happens.  Believe us: nothing puts a damper on a birthday celebration than having to handle finances once everyone is liquored up.  If nothing else, at least don't send your lawyer to your friend's publicist to get into the nitty gritty money deets.  Major party foul.

    Dear Mary and Meghan,

    Sexting is a real problem among teens.  While we're sure adults have been sexting for years, only recently has the social scourge that is sexting come to light as an adolescent issue.  What we find most amusing is not that Mary and Meghan had to have the uncomfortable talk about sexting in the first place, but that Mary was so shocked to hear a word akin to "sex" issue forth from her tween's mouth.

    But we suppose it's Mary fault Meghan had to attend a school assembly on sexting.  She did send her little girl to public school, after all.  And sexting seminars don't happen at private schools; the students are all way too well educated to let some teacher find out they're sending borderline kiddie porn to one another.

    Until next time, fair Housewives!